I wonder where his eyes were as he washed their feet. He must have looked each disciple in the eye before pouring water over their feet and bathing them. How painful was the gaze into Judas’s eyes? How comprehending was his glance at Peter, knowing his pending denial? How affectionate was his look at the Beloved Disciple?
But I suppose that most of his time was spent looking not at their eyes but at their feet. He could tell so much about them just from their feet. It was their feet that needed tending. He wasn’t a charlatan reading a palm. He had a genuinely intimate knowledge of their lives. Their feet told him everything, more than perhaps they wanted him to know.
As he bathed their feet with water and caressed them, he saw so much about their pasts. He saw the calluses from standing on the rocky seashores waiting all day for a catch. He saw the strain of overwork in trying to earn a living. He saw the countless miles trod behind him throughout Galilee. He saw the scars from accidents and the first signs of poor health. He felt the tension in the muscles of the feet that didn’t want to be handled. He felt the instinctive pull away as he took a foot to wash it.
In washing their feet, he could read their lives. This evening, he knows too much. He knows which feet will continue to follow in his footsteps long after his body has been taken down off the cross. He knows exactly which pair of feet will go out into the night to betray him into the hands of his murderers. He knows which pair of feet will be at the top of the cross instead of the bottom when he is crucified. He knows which feet will traverse distant continents for the sake of his good news. He knows which feet will be buried in distant lands, far from home, all because of him.
The disciples don’t yet know about their future. They don’t yet know exactly where their feet will take them. They don’t yet know what other feet they will have to wash. But this evening, for a sacred meal, they have come to holy ground, whether they know it or not. Like Moses, they have taken off their sandals because now, in this hour, they are standing at the gate of heaven, even though they don’t quite understand it.
We, too, are on holy ground. We are standing at the gate of heaven, even though it may be hard to see. We will shortly be invited to take off our sandals to approach this holy ground. It’s the first step to walk through the gate of heaven. With bare feet, we will come before Christ, who knows everything about our lives just by looking at our feet. He knows the one who stands all day working a thankless job and whose feet are so very tired. He knows the one whose left foot is permanently scarred from childhood. He knows the one whose feet have never known the strain of hard labor. He knows the one whose feet haven’t had a real home in years. He knows all our stories just by looking at our feet.
Whether we show them to him or not, he knows it all. But the invitation to take off our sandals on this holy ground is a sign of respect both for this sacred place and moment and for the one who is calling us to heaven. Tonight, it’s not about the head or the hands. It’s not about trying to rationalize the mystery before us. Tonight, we are asked to let Christ do something for us that puts us utterly beyond the temptation to control his gift.
Week after week, we stretch out our hands to receive his precious gift in the Eucharist. Tonight, we will do the same. We will celebrate the very institution of that gift. But although it’s pure gift, we find so many ways to try to control it. We weaponize it or add it to our tally of things we need to do to get into heaven. We receive it because it will do something for us.
But not tonight. This evening, Christ invites us to receive a different kind of gift. It’s a strange and uncomfortable one. He asks us to let him wash our feet, to read our lives. He anoints our feet for mission and service. In order to serve and love as he loves us, we can’t simply summon the will to do so. We must take off our shoes here on holy ground. We must lay bare everything before the one who knew us in our mother’s womb.
We must let go of our desire to control this uncomfortable moment by refusing his offer. We must let go of our pride to expose our battered and ugly feet to the light before our friends. We must forfeit every instinct that will serve everyone else but not let ourselves be served.
Tonight is not about the head or the hands. It’s not even so much about the heart. It’s about the feet. We must receive without condition the uncontrollable gift being offered to us before we can dare to serve others and love them to the end.
Only after we have let him wash our feet are we prepared to feast with Jesus. We feast on him with urgency, loins girded for service, sandals once again on our feet, staff in our hand, ready to lead others. Only now, having been served, can we run out into the world, into the freedom of perfect service and undying love.
Sermon by Father Kyle Babin
Maundy Thursday
April 6, 2023