Words that Can Light Up the World

As a child, I was intrigued with black and white films. Why, I asked my parents, were some films in black and white while others were in color? My uninformed, childlike assumption was that black and white films were simply color films that had grown old. They had once been in color, and then they just deteriorated in quality over time. In my mind’s eye, I imagined film rolls sitting around in a dark storage area, collecting dust, until one day, they lost their polychromatism and devolved into monochromatic grayscale productions.

While this naïve theory was incorrect, maybe there was a bit of truth in it after all. The black and white films I was analyzing were never filmed in color, but behind the limited chromatic fields of the final productions there were living worlds of vibrant hues. Jimmy Stewart’s eye color was not an unidentifiable shade of gray but light blue. Donna Reed’s hair color was not an unfathomable variation on black but deep brown.

When you read Scripture, what’s the color palette that you see? Is it polychromatic or monochromatic? If the current malaise of the Church and the confused comfort of many Christians is any indication, Scripture is only a black and white film. That’s not to say that everyone finds it uninteresting or irrelevant, but rather that over the centuries, something has been lost. It’s a bit like my childhood image of black and white films. I thought those films had simply lost their color over time.

So, where has the color gone in the stories of Jesus and of the early Church? In 2023, can we find any ounce of the fervor described in the Acts of the Apostles, when thousands were converted in a day? Today, where’s the palpable presence of the Holy Spirit, alighting on person after person and strengthening them to do wild and unexpected things in the name of Christ? Where are the miracles, the healings, the missionary journeys to exotic lands, and the inclusion of heretofore ostracized groups of people?

Over the years, Scripture has become a monochromatic palette. We hear the same stories repeatedly. Unspoken, key details are left to our imaginations, but if we fail to employ our imaginations to supply the color, the stories are simply visualized in grayscale. Chilling moments lose their electricity. Scripture is read as if it were the phone book.  

Maybe Scripture has taken on something of the monochromatic reality around us, which seems like it will never blossom into color again: an unending conflict in Ukraine, one more mass shooting, racism coded into law, lawmakers establishing policy that excludes yet one more vulnerable group. Some things never seem to change. We’re left with a grayscale universe and no real ideas of how to add color to it, because we feel helpless. Do you wonder if the color has completely gone from our world?

And then, we hear Jesus say something remarkable, if we’re listening. On a first hearing, Jesus’s words channeled through John the Evangelist may have a monochromatic ring to them. We hear him repeat a common refrain many times in John’s Gospel: I am in the Father and the Father in me. John spins a circular logic that can lose its zest when rendered into English. Everything sounds colorless until Jesus drops a zinger of flashing light.

He who believes in me will also do the works that I do; and greater works than these will he do, because I go to the Father. Wow. Did you see the world just light up with color? Or when you heard it just a few minutes ago, did your attention gloss right over it? Can you believe what Jesus said to his disciples and what he’s saying to us? Listen again: He who believes in me will also do the works that I do; and greater works than these will he do, because I go to the Father.

This is nothing short of astonishing. We’ve been given a charge that’s either so true we can’t believe it or just one more hyperbole in Scripture. But I’m here to tell you that what Jesus says is true. It’s simply that we’ve failed to believe it.

Why then have we become content with a monochromatic world? Why has the story that upended the world been reduced to silent film in grayscale? Why does the fervor of the early Church or even the vibrancy of the Church fifty years ago seem like mere idealism? There’s only one solution to this predicament, as far as I’m concerned, and it’s not my own. It’s the one Jesus gives us.

Did you catch those other words of Jesus, or did they fail to light up for you, too? Hear them again: Whatever you ask in my name, I will do it, that the Father may be glorified in the Son; if you ask anything in my name, I will do it. Never underestimate the power of prayer. I’m talking about real prayer, the kind of prayer infused with the love of God the Father, revealed in his Son Jesus Christ, whose living presence continues to be made known to us in the power of the Holy Spirit.

This is prayer that takes place no matter how we’re feeling. This is prayer that’s unceasing and permeates every moment of our day, whether in words or through movements of the heart. This is prayer expressed both in song and in silence. This is prayer that turns every aspect of our lives over to God so that God can do what’s best for us when we don’t know what we need. This is prayer that takes place at home, at work, in the public sphere, and unfailingly here at church.

This is prayer that envisages a God who is more than a mere dispenser of favors or worker of magic tricks. This is prayer that can only come about from aligning our lives with Jesus, the way, the truth, and the life. When our wills are so bound up with Christ’s, then we will know exactly what we need to ask for, and God will give it to us. If we believe what Jesus says, then we can do far more than we can imagine, and impossibilities become real possibilities, because the Holy Spirit has been given to us as our companion and guide.

It's a tragedy that thoughts and prayers have come to stand for inaction in the face of injustice. But perhaps that’s because we’ve put the cart before the horse. Action can only follow prayer. And right action can only stem from being hitched to the one who is the way into eternal life.

Right now, it’s probably difficult for many of us to imagine doing greater works than Jesus because our world has been so dulled by the monochromatism of sin and despair. But we are custodians of the great treasure of Jesus’s words. His words of hope have been entrusted to us so that we will believe them and then live from out of their power.

So, now is the time for the Church to light up the world with color. Politicians have failed. Government officials promise and don’t deliver. Lawmakers write injustice into law. Friends betray us. Institutions take our money and give us nothing in return. Every person and thing in which we’ve put our misguided trust will disappoint. But the Church is different. She should be different. She can upend the world once again. She will do things so astonishing that they can only be from the hand of God.

The most exciting and magnificent film you’ve ever seen and ever will see is before your eyes. You are in it. For some time now, it has lain dormant in a closet, shut up in the dark. It has collected dust. It has lost its color, little by little, decade by decade. Tired narratives tell us this: the Church can only manage her decline, the Church must be scaled back to manageable size, thoughts and prayers are useless, and the only hope in the world is what you alone can do, because God won’t help you.

But these are lies, because the risen Christ is alive in our midst, and he gives us a different message. The Holy Spirit is setting the world on fire. Grays can become blue, and shades of black will morph into brown. There’s no color too alluring for the palette of the film that God is producing among us. We are actors in it. The dull gray of your despair is now a luminous hope.

All you must do is believe. Believe that Jesus’s words are true. Believe that behind the grayscale film you see is a world of dazzling color, radiant with hope. Believe that through the Holy Spirit’s power, our wills can be united with God’s desires for us. And above all, believe Christ’s promise: if you ask for anything in his name, God will do it.

Sermon by Father Kyle Babin
The Fifth Sunday of Easter
May 7, 2023

Sermon for Good Shepherd Sunday

In the Name of God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Ghost. Amen.

I want to begin by thanking Fr Kyle your Rector for inviting me to be with you on Good Shepherd Sunday. I served as Rector here for seven years from 1978 to 1985, and years of blessing those were for me and my family and, I hope for the congregation. I have held this church in my loving prayers ever since: May the good Lord bless, protect and prosper you now and always. May you flourish in every way it is possible to flourish!

After 41 years of full time parish ministry, I retired – I should say my wife Nancy and I retired – in 2014. We live where we met, in Narragansett, RI, and we worship where we were married there over a half century ago, at Saint Peter’s-by-the-Sea. I have a story from St Peter’s that I believe well illustrates the work of our Lord Jesus as our Good Shepherd.

Several years ago, a man about my age, we’ll call him Tom, befriended us and invited us to join him and his wife in a play-reading group. It’s good fun, and a certain social life rotates with it. One day, however, Tom wanted to see me and talk personally and seriously, so I drove over to his house for a conversation with him and his wife. He revealed that he had been battling with cancer for over a decade, which few had known, and that the cancer had gained too much ground for him to continue his battle with it: he was starting at-home hospice care.

Tom’s wife was an attender at St Peter’s, but I didn’t recall seeing Tom with her. Nonetheless, Tom had been educated in Episcopal schools, was familiar with their chapel services, with the old Book of Common Prayer, the hymns, and other time-honored customs; but he had long since ceased regular church attendance.

I didn’t ask Tom why he had stopped with church, but he did say he hadn’t liked the changes in the Prayer Book, or some political sermons, or whatever. Very likely. The truth is, if you’re looking for a reason not to go to church, there are plenty available, and so I let this all pass. The further, deeper truth was, Tom wanted to receive the sacrament, to use what little time he had left to get in touch again with Jesus and his church. That was the heart of the matter.

While I demurred from acting as anything but a retired priest and friend, I did volunteer to contact our rector. But Tom said I needn’t do that; he would email him directly. To paraphrase him, he said this “poor old lamb needs to come back to the sheepfold…”  That, I thought, was impressive. It was a simple statement of faith and fact spoken in a genuine crisis.

In today’s Gospel, Jesus says several of the things that describe him as The Good Shepherd, and today they involve him as the good shepherd who opens the gate of the sheepfold. The sheep, he says, know the true shepherd’s voice, and they do not heed the voice of strangers. Elsewhere, Jesus says “I AM the Good Shepherd,” meaning that he is the Lord God, I AM, who is the Shepherd of all Israel, and that there is one flock and one shepherd.

On the day before he died, Jesus said that as the Good Shepherd acting in perfect unity with his Father, he had power to lay down his life and power to take it up again. This is of course a reference to Jesus’s death and resurrection, his ultimate act on behalf of his sheep, for whom he lays down his life. There are images around this church of Jesus as the Good Shepherd. These images reflect the earliest Christian art and iconography. Clearly the image of The Good Shepherd spoke to the hearts of the early disciples and the church that grew up after them. Some of the images here show Jesus as a beardless Roman shepherd, with a sheep on his shoulders. I have always found these powerful and moving. When Tom in Narragansett referred to himself as a poor old lamb wanting to return to the fold, that was the very image that rose up in my mind’s eye. I thought of the risen Lord with Saint Peter by the lake, healing Peter’s triple betrayal by asking him three times if Peter loved him; and each time commanding him to feed, to tend, and again to feed his lambs and sheep, young and old, high and low, rich and poor.

The rector responded quickly and well to Tom’s email. He visited Tom within a few days, and they spoke and had Holy Communion in Tom’s home. Tom was not able to go out any more. He and the rector had significant pastoral conversation, and more than once. Tom’s wife was happy at what she witnessed. Would I, she asked, take some part in Tom’s funeral service when the time came for it? I would be honored, of course, the rector assigning me my place.

As it happened the time came quickly, not months but weeks, much quicker than Tom had first told me. The rector saw that Tom’s reaching out to the church was not a moment too soon, actually just in the nick of time. The night Tom died in his sleep, he told his wife he felt he was now all done, was right at the shore. And he did not linger. 

St Peter’s, even in this strange time of Covid worries, was full of people for Tom’s funeral. The rector provided a most grace-filled service from the Book of Common Prayer and spoke of Jesus the Good Shepherd, of how there is joy over our desire to come home to him.

It was good to hear some of those Prayer Book phrases: “Acknowledge, we humbly beseech, a sheep of thine own fold, a lamb of thine own flock, a sinner of thine own redeeming. Receive him into the arms of thy mercy, into the blessed rest of everlasting peace, and into the glorious company of the saints in light.” And I thought of a prayer for the departed that wasn’t read but is always pertinent: “wash him in the blood of that immaculate Lamb who was slain to take away the sins of the world…that whatsoever defilements he may have contracted in the midst of this earthly life being purged and done away, he may be presented pure and without spot before thee…”

This story is one of many that show us what the church is for, whether St Peter’s in Narragansett or The Good Shepherd in Rosemont. May we always do what we can to assist in the care of our beloved Jesus, the Lamb of God who is our Good Shepherd. And, good brother Father Kyle, dearly beloved members and parishioners of The Good Shepherd, may many lambs find safety and pasture here in this venerable and lovely sheepfold.

In the Name of God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Ghost. Amen.

Illogical Hope

I remember many things from my visit to the Holy Land in 2016. I remember with fondness the beautiful rolling hills of the Judean wilderness and Ein Karem, where the visitation of the Blessed Virgin Mary to Elizabeth is commemorated. I remember kissing the stone in Bethlehem marking the spot where it’s believed that Jesus was born. I remember wading into the Jordan River where Jesus was baptized, nervously staring at armed Jordanian soldiers across the river, because we had been told that there could still be some landmines hidden on the bed of the river. I remember the incredible Church of the Holy Sepulcher, which houses the site of Golgotha, where Jesus was crucified, as well as the place where his tomb was.

But I also remember that holiest church in Christendom divided into pieces, some portions allocated to Orthodox Christians, some to Armenian Christians, others to Roman Catholics. Anglicans weren’t allowed to celebrate Mass at any of the altars there. I remember feeling the palpable tension between denominations in that holy place, vying for power and control. I remember being hastened from my posture of adoration at Jesus’s burial place by abrupt and rude guards of the tomb, so that other tourists could have their seven or eight seconds there.

The Holy Land is a confusing place. It has an illogic that masquerades as logic. Even though it should be the place of truest peace on earth, it’s one of the most volatile. Where love should reign, hate predominates. Where swords should be beaten into ploughshares, soldiers who look like they’re still teenagers roam the streets of Old City with machine guns.

But in that beautiful land, there is also a place called Abu Ghosh. It’s the place believed to be Emmaus. On my pilgrimage some years ago, as we journeyed there, we were told that it was not a safe place. We were told that the Roman Catholic monastery we would be visiting, which housed both men and women, was infrequently visited. Many people were afraid to visit this unstable region of Israel.

So, when we pulled into the drive of the monastery, I remember this. I remember monks and nuns coming out to greet us. I remember a welcome so warm that it surpassed the welcome we received or didn’t receive at any other site in the Holy Land. I remember a profound gratitude radiating from the monks and nuns because we had chosen to visit them.

We moved into the ancient church for Mass. And there, a group of Roman Catholic monks and nuns allowed an Anglican priest to celebrate Mass at the altar. I was astounded. On our trip were men and women priests, and they were all graciously welcomed. The monks and nuns even joined in the Mass with us. In this quiet, remote place, in the place where two early disciples finally recognized Jesus in the breaking of the bread, I saw a fleeting glimpse of Christian charity, unity, hospitality, peace, and love. I saw the illogic of that goodness trump the world’s unholy quests for logic.

And then it was over. The bread was broken, the wine was poured. We were dismissed and sent into the world to love and serve the Lord in peace. We climbed back onto our buses, and we road back to Jerusalem. We road back to a city seething with hatred and violence. We road back to a city arbitrarily and defiantly partitioned, where altars were controlled by the religious hierarchy and denominations fought over their last square footage of space in a holy site. At Emmaus, the Risen Christ had been clearly known to us in the opening of Scripture and in the breaking of bread, in divisions momentarily put aside, and in true hospitality. And then it was as if Jesus had vanished from our sight.

In Luke’s Gospel, when Cleopas and the other unnamed disciple encounter Jesus on the road to Emmaus, it’s three days after they had seen humanity at its worst. Walking from Jerusalem, they left the ugliness of human betrayal, fear, denial, mocking, hatred, and crucifixion. They walked along that road to Emmaus stewing over everything that had happened. Talking and discussing, trying to find logic in the empty tomb that was discovered, the absence of a body, the seemingly preposterous claims of the women at the tomb who said they saw angels.

Here’s what I imagine Cleopas and the other disciple thinking inside, although they don’t give voice to it. The friend we thought was the hope of Israel may have just been a fraud. Where in all this is the God we worship and adore? Was God not powerful enough to save the one who preached and taught about love? When all our hope was centered around someone who is now dead, is there any future for us? And if so, what is it?

And although those disciples are wrestling with many emotions in their hearts, for most of their journey on that road to Emmaus, they appear to be lost in their heads. They are hashing it out in conversation, trying to rationalize. They are looking for logic where there is none.

But something happens on that road to Emmaus. The logic they had sought is disassembled by Jesus. When they think that suffering and death can have no part in the world’s redemption, the Risen Christ reinterprets Scripture for them. When they think that they need to articulate a cohesive argument in their minds, as if they could philosophize the resurrection, Jesus spends the evening with them, takes a loaf of bread, blesses it, breaks it, and shares it with them.

And this is the moment in which their eyes are opened by God. Until now, their eyes have been closed. Until now, they have been in their heads. Now, they have moved from head to heart. Now, it all makes sense. There is no logic to this mystery, and in the illogic of it all, they find their hope.

This hope was made known to me in Emmaus on that pilgrimage back in 2016. Before that Eucharistic encounter, I was seeking Christ’s presence in the holy sites where he walked, preached, taught, and healed. I was looking for him, and of course, he was there. But somehow, my eyes were still closed to his real presence, because I was in my head. Mere remembering was not enough to summon Jesus’s presence, because in the present, I still saw the illogic of human sin, strife, discord, contention, and harbingers of violence. I saw petty denominational differences manifested in territory grabbing. I saw lots of Christians trying to control the uncontrollable.

But at Emmaus, my eyes were opened. And the only one who could open my eyes was God. Christ was truly present among a diverse group of Christians assembled in an ancient church, hearing Scripture read and interpreted, and breaking bread together. No sinful bickering could keep him out. No manipulative schemes could pin him down. No jaded human logic could quench his beautiful illogic.

And suddenly, his presence vanished from our midst. He was present, and then absent once again. We pilgrims went on our way, but now it made sense. Usually, we are trying to force our eyes to open by ourselves. We are living in our heads, trying to rationalize our way to peace or understanding. But Christ is inviting us to let him interpret the Scriptures for us and let him give us his Body and Blood. He longs to be made known to us in the present by Holy Spirit’s power, not simply in our memories or intellectual schemes.

And here we have come today. We are perhaps lonely and confused, perhaps sad and bereft, perhaps feeling abandoned, perhaps wondering if the world has gone off the rails. Maybe you’re trying to rationalize your way to faith and understanding. Some of you may even think being here is just a waste of time, when you could be out there, doing something good in the name of Christ.

But you and I are exactly where we should and need to be. There’s no other place on earth in which the Risen Christ will make himself known more clearly. He has already told us that. There’s no other place where you will be changed more deeply. He has told us that, too. There’s nothing better that we can do for the sake of the world and our lives than to heed our Lord’s command to come here on the Lord’s Day, week after week after week. Come together as much as you can. Allow Christ to open Scripture for you. Come to the Lord’s altar, and let Christ feed you. You can never get enough of this.

And then, your eyes will be opened, not by the books you read, the teachers you admire, or your own effort. Your eyes will be opened by God, who is the only one who can bring the illogic of hope into an illogical world.

Sermon by Father Kyle Babin
The Third Sunday of Easter
April 23, 2023

Of What Are You Afraid?

It’s Sunday. They are huddled together in a room, where they usually gather. That event which seemed like ages ago is still in their memories. But something is wrong. This motley assortment of disciples should be glad. They should be gathering out of thanks, for a life so generously sacrificed for their salvation, for a startling new truth that they still struggle to grasp, for the eternal promise that has been made to them.

But they don’t look glad. They all seem drawn into themselves. There’s a nervous energy in the room. They are forlorn. They are lonely. They are beginning to wonder if God has abandoned them, even though they have shown up to be together with one another, as is their custom. The doors are not only shut; they are locked. The tension and anxiety are so thick in the room that you can cut through the resulting cloud with a knife. Above all, these disciples are afraid. They are scared out of their minds.

A handful of disciples in need of one another’s company, gathering according to their custom, shut behind doors, so very afraid. Is the year 30 A.D. or 2023? Is this gathering comprised of Jesus’s disciples, who were still in shock in the evening of the Day of Resurrection, or is it the modern Church gathering to break bread and share a cup on a Sunday so many years later? Is the man nervously pacing across the room impetuous Peter who is still feeling guilty for his three denials, or is it the parishioner who’s worried about the heating bill and the recent liturgical change?

Right now, on the first day of the week, countless other Christians—although undoubtedly fewer than in ages past—are gathering across the world, just as we are. Usually, the doors are shut and hopefully not locked, although in some corners of the world, perhaps they are. Prayers are said. Bread and wine are present. Thanks is given to God for them. The bread is broken, and the wine is poured. They are shared.

In many places, as in this place, people seem glad to be here. The peace is exchanged. Worries and troubles are brought with the contemporary disciples who come, even though most of these remain hidden inside our hearts. All that we bring is placed on the altar, with ourselves and the bread and the wine. Sins are forgiven. Fellowship is shared. Christ’s Body and Blood are received.

But do you detect any tension? Do you sense any anxiety? Are you afraid, and if so, of what are you afraid? Is it what’s on the other side of the doors of this church? Is it the safety of your family when you’re not with them? Is it the health of a parent who is struggling with a sobering new diagnosis? Is it the mental health of your child? Is it about paying the bills?

Or are you afraid of a world full of shifting mores and values? Or of the judgment of your friends who want nothing to do with church and think you’re out of your mind for being here? Or of the people who look and think differently from you? Are you afraid of any of these things?

Let’s face it. The fear that Jesus’s disciples had in that upper room over two thousand years ago manifests itself in similar ways in our own day. The fear that St. John describes in his Gospel was used to scapegoat others: one group of Jewish people who followed Jesus demonized another group who didn’t.

But the Church still recapitulates such fear in other ways. She fears “the world” outside our doors, even if they aren’t locked. She fears a culture that has decreasing respect for the Church and that schedules ballgames and dance practice on Sunday. She fears a pandemic that has thinned out the pews. She fears even the fear of those outside the Church who have been wounded by reckless spiritual leaders. She fears those within the Church who weaponize Scripture and the sacraments. She fears talking about sin too much lest she offend, or in some corners, she fears talking about love lest she become too generous. Her members even fear their fellow Christians because they can be so unforgiving. There is so much to fear, it seems.

At least, that’s what the prevailing narratives suggest. One narrative, which many in the Church have bought hook, line, and sinker, is that the Church is in perpetual decline. The Church will need to reinvent herself completely, or she will simply die out. The clock is ticking. Haven’t you heard this? Are you afraid of it? And if so, what are you going to do about it?

And in walks Thomas. If there’s anyone in Scripture we should feel sorry for, it’s Thomas. But we shouldn’t feel sorry for him because he doubts. The Greek text never says he doubts. Jesus tells him to be believing, not unbelieving. And the last thing we should fear is our doubts. We should feel sorry for Thomas because he is often so misunderstood. Thomas should be our role model. Thomas demands something that we all need to see. Thomas wants to see Jesus’s wounds.

Thomas is going for something deep. Perhaps it’s not so much that he wants proof before he can believe. Perhaps he wants to make sure that the person the disciples have claimed to see is truly the Risen Christ. When Satan is known to masquerade as an angel of light, Thomas is sensible to ask for proof. And the Risen Christ who never deceives isn’t someone who mysteriously appears and offers facile peace with oppression or with the status quo. The Risen Christ, whom we worship and adore, is the One who appears with the scars still in his hands and his side, because this Savior has been to darker places than we can imagine. He offers the peace that passes all understanding and a new creation that transforms the old. This Risen Christ still comes to us in our valleys of despair. So, put your hands into his side and see the print of the nails in his hands, and what do you see?

In those scars is a Church that gathered week after week on the first day of the week, even when it was a crime. In those scars is a Church that produced martyrs whose blood became the seed for a growing crop of disciples. In those scars is a Church that grew and grew even when others mocked it and when authorities persecuted it. In those scars is a body of disciples who stayed together despite heresy and schism, and corrupt bishops. In those scars are the internal divisions that threatened to destroy the Church forever, but which didn’t. In those scars, are the sins of the Crusades and anti-Jewish pogroms and oppressive colonization. In those scars are the wounds of those abused by Church leaders and those who were excluded by the Church.

It’s all there, and Thomas wants to see it. Ask to see the wounds, he says, because only a Savior who is risen from the dead and still bears such wounds is our true Savior. His wounds are proof that the worst crimes and heinous acts and even death itself cannot destroy what God has built. The Risen Christ, who offers his peace and Holy Spirit to us, will not erase our wounds. He heals them.

And here is the Risen Christ with us today, in our midst. He has come to us, despite the closed doors. He has come to us despite our fear. He has an invitation and a message for us.

As he did with Thomas, he invites us to see the wounds in his hands and to touch his side. He asks us to be not unbelieving but believing. He encourages us not to believe a message of despair about our own future and the Church’s future. His wounds remind us that although we may think the world has never been so bad, it has been in trouble before, and it survived. The Church survived. And Jesus says, you and the Church will survive. For he doesn’t forsake his own, and his message is no lie.

That is his invitation to believe. And then he does one final thing: he gives us a charge. Go and unlock the doors, he says. Your fear has already been unable to keep him out. Unlock the doors to all. Do not fear what is outside. Do not fear the unknown. Believe that what you haven’t yet seen will be good news. Believe that no matter what anyone else tells you, this isn’t the end. There is a future prepared for you, and that’s the best part yet.

Sermon by Father Kyle Babin
The Second Sunday of Easter
April 16, 2023

Gathered at the Tomb

We don’t really know how long all the events took, but maybe we can hazard a guess. Like any book or movie, the real-life action always takes longer than it takes to read or watch. So, imagine that before us on the screen is a video of just over an hour’s length. If we start at the beginning and click the play button, it’s difficult to make out what’s happening. It’s dark, and the camera is focused on a tomb whose stone has been rolled away from its entrance.

A woman walks in from stage right. She’s not walking fast. She’s leaning forward a bit, as if the weight of the world is resting on her shoulders. At ten seconds, we see her pause, bring her hands to her face, and then suddenly, she darts off the screen in the direction from which she came. For thirty minutes, the camera remains focused on the empty tomb. There is no other movement. All is silent. All is still.

And then, just after thirty minutes into this video, we can hear the rustle of movement from stage right. One individual darts into the picture view. Shortly afterwards, a second figure appears, running as well. And then we see a third figure, which we recognize as the woman whom we first saw.

The first running figure bends down at the tomb entrance but doesn’t go in. But his competitor in the race to the tomb does go into the tomb. We hear something, although we can’t make out what he’s saying. He clearly sees something significant. Now, his running companion also goes into the tomb. We hear muffled voices, but they are distorted by the cavernous reverberation of the tomb. After they emerge from the tomb, these two individuals depart. It’s about thirty-two minutes into the video.

All we see now is the woman, her back to us. She is standing outside the tomb. We see her shoulders moving up and down. She is crying. We can hear the muffled sobbing. Occasionally, she brings a hand to her face, presumably to wipe away tears. It’s painful to watch. There’s no other action except this woman, staring at the entrance to the tomb, wiping away tears, shoulders trembling.

We watch and hear her crying, and it’s a long time. Not until the video has been playing for an hour do we see a different kind of movement. The woman seems to have a thought. We can read it in her body language. She stoops down and freezes. Then we hear two voices echoing in unison from inside the cave of the tomb. Woman, why are you weeping? The woman responds, through her tears, They have taken away my Lord, and I do not know where they have laid him.

Then, it happens. Someone else, whose back is also to us, appears. We don’t even notice how he appears. We’re just suddenly aware that he’s there. Of course, we know who he is. We’ve watched this video before. At this moment, we see the woman, as if she were instinctively aware of another presence behind her, abruptly turning. He says to her, Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you looking for?

We’ve heard the story before, so we know how she answers. We know what happens now. But this climactic moment of the story we rewatch every year is at one hour and three minutes. It’s at this moment that we finally learn her name. It’s Mary. The man has called her by name. And the rest is history. We and the world have never been the same since.

And here we are this Easter Day, rewatching that video. Or at least that’s what we say we’re doing. In truth, the events we think we’re rewatching are taking place in human time. They are being truly re-presented to us in the salvation of liturgical time because God’s time knows no bounds. We are participating in those saving events. But for simplicity’s sake, let’s imagine we are rewatching this video for the sixth, thirty-first, or eightieth time. What are we rewatching? And what moments of this rather long video are we focusing on?

What has brought you here today? What moment in the video have you come for? Is it the moment when Mary first appears on the scene, sees the stone rolled away, and runs off? Or is it thirty minutes in when the three figures come racing onto the scene to make their further discoveries at the tomb? Or is it an hour into the video, when Mary peers into the tomb, sees the angels, and finally meets the Risen Christ. Which moment is it?

If I had to guess, I would surmise that you, I, and countless Christians across the world in this very moment are watching one of those moments and holding onto it for dear life. Maybe it’s why you got up early today and put on your Sunday best. Maybe it was inspiration enough to get your kids up, too, for an Easter egg hunt and then to stay for church.

But what about those other moments of the video, the ones we like to forget or ignore. As we’re imagining this story, there’s nearly an hour’s worth of footage that we rarely talk about. It’s probably not the footage you would choose to watch and rewatch. It’s probably not the footage that brought you here today. Why wouldn’t you watch and rewatch it? Is it because it's boring or because it’s too painful to watch? But let’s do something different this Easter. Let’s rewatch those long, difficult moments. No, let’s do something more. Let’s participate in them.

First, there’s the thirty minutes of silence and suspense, staring at the empty tomb, after Mary leaves the scene to find Peter and the Beloved Disciple. Think it’s not important to you or to me? Think again. Look again.

Ah, do you see them now? There are characters in this part of the video, but we must go deep into our hearts to find them. When we look at the footage again, we see the long, painful confusion of a former Christian who lost his faith. He once was convinced he knew it all. Jesus was his Lord and Savior, and he was stirred up inside every time he thought of Jesus. But one day, after he was betrayed by his own church, he lost the faith he thought he had. And now, here he stands, in an awkward, disturbing silence of waiting between knowing Jesus and feeling like Jesus is gone from his life.

We also see the woman, across the world in Ukraine, whose son went to fight in the war. He left six months ago, and she hasn’t heard from him. She’s still waiting. The silence is long and hard, but she’s grasping for something in the emptiness and hoping that the story isn’t quite over yet. Maybe one day he will appear from stage right, too.

Or should we fast forward to thirty-two minutes into the video? Yes, we see Mary weeping, shoulders shaking, and we hear her gentle sobbing. But there are others, too. Do you see them now? I see the woman weeping by the bed of her spouse who is daily losing strength. I see the youth crying in her room because she is bullied at school and ignored when she tries to speak up to school officials. Whom do you see? Do you see the family gathered on the street block now cordoned off with police tape? Do you see the hardworking father that can’t afford to feed his children? Do you see the elderly woman who has no family or friends and is eating alone? Which others do you see?

What has brought us here today, I suspect, are not these moments. We have come for the dramatic moments of finding the empty tomb and Jesus calling Mary’s name. But the best news of all this day lies in the moments of the video that we’d prefer not to watch. And yet, God is showing us something in them. We can’t have resurrection glory without that hour of the video that is so hard to watch. Resurrection glory has its meaning in them. And it’s the best news we could possibly imagine because not one of us will ever be removed from that hour of the video. We will be there one day. We have been there. Maybe we are there now. And here’s the meaning of today: despite all that, we have hope.

We have hope because the tomb was empty. The body was gone. And only because of that historical reality can we fully trust that God has done something that will always be so unbelievable that we must believe. This story is hope for anyone who struggles, who doubts, who weeps, or is confused. The resurrection in its full glory and truth is not a neatly packaged event to be tidily consumed by those without blemish or doubt. It’s a truth that finds its full meaning especially when we are wandering in the dark, when we are deep in the tomb and can’t find our way out, and when we are weeping for sorrow. It greets us not to affirm our righteousness or pat us on the back. It greets us with the incredible news that truth and love come to find us when we don’t know where to look. The Risen Christ is here to give us eternal life because his love is stronger than death.

I don’t know where you are in the video this day, but wherever you are, rejoice. Whether you are weeping, whether you are confused, whether you have lost your faith, whether you don’t understand anything at all, rejoice that the one whom God raised from the dead is right behind you, always. Turn around like Mary. Look. The Good Shepherd, the innocent Lamb slain for the other sheep, is calling your name. You are his beloved child. You are his lost sheep. You have been looking for love, and love has found you.

Sermon by Father Kyle Babin
The Sunday of the Resurrection
April 9, 2023

An Unbelievable World

On Good Friday, we are usually looking up. Jesus hangs on the cross, arms stretched out in love as if to embrace the whole world. Jesus and his agony, it seems, is the focus of our attention this day. But what if we looked down? What would we see?

When those who were near the cross on that solemn day finally looked down after Jesus gave up his spirit, there were many surprises. All around, they had come. Some, like the Blessed Mother, Mary the wife of Cleophas, Mary Magdalene, and the Beloved Disciple are named. But there were others who were not named. Something had drawn them here.

There were plenty who were here for the sport of a public execution. There were those who did the dastardly deed with nails and hammers. There were the soldiers who would pierce his side. But I’m not talking about these. I’m talking about the ones who came for a different reason. They came for love.

The ones who came for love weren’t drawn by the words Pilate hastily wrote and placed above Jesus’s head on the cross. They certainly weren’t there for the spectacle or for curiosity. They weren’t there to jeer or mock Jesus. The ones who came for love came for one reason only: they knew his voice.

It was a motley collection of people there near the foot of the cross. They surprised one another. But that’s what love does: it surprises us. Of course, the poor were there. The ones who hardly had two denaari to rub together came because they were hungry. They knew the one on the cross could not give them bread right now, but they knew he would feed them. They had heard him say so: I am the bread of life. Even on the verge of death, he would satisfy their hunger.

The lonely were there, too. Some of the outcasts and the social pariahs came as well. Some had committed crimes that they hoped no one would ever discover. The only place they knew to come was here, the foot of the cross. Because they heard him say before: I am the good shepherd. They knew that where the deepest loneliness was, he would most certainly be there, too.

There were other women besides the Marys, women, unfortunates treated as less than human in their marriages. And there were the people regarded as notorious sinners, shunned by society, and vulnerable to abuse. They came because they heard him say it: I am the gate for the sheep. They knew that this was the safest place on earth, and that when they came close to him, he would protect them, even if it seemed like the most dangerous place on earth.

There were the blind, who knew that they could find their deepest sight in this man hanging from a tree. And those who needed others to carry them were brought. The sick and the suffering made the journey here, too. They came for healing, because they heard him say it before: I am the light of the world. This one on the cross would give light to the darkness of their lives.

Among those near the cross were some of the most aimless and directionless. Some had been led astray by false prophets before. Some thought they had faith until a tragedy struck. Others didn’t know God until they heard this one say it: I am the way, and the truth, and the life. In the chaos of their lives, something about this man compelled them to come, trusting that they would find abundant life.

Those who were mourning recent deaths stood expectantly waiting at the foot of the cross. Their bowels groaned with the emptiness of their losses, but they came because they heard him say it before: I am the resurrection and the life. They had heard about Lazarus. They knew that the who had wept for his friend would give them hope.

They all went to the foot of the cross because they had heard his voice. Even above the fracas of the angry crowd, even above the pounding of the nails into the hard wood of a cross, even above the tone of cynicism, they still heard his voice. They recognized it, because the one who was now the spotless victim had called them by name. The Good Shepherd of the sheep was now the innocent lamb led to the slaughter. He was true to his word. He would indeed give his life for his precious sheep. They knew it now. They knew his voice. So, to the cross they came. They came for love.

And here we are. We are at the foot of the cross. We are a no less surprising group of people than those who gathered at the cross for love oh so many years ago. We have heard him say it, too, which is why we came. We have come with all that seems unlovable about us. We have come with our deepest secrets and most painful sins that have isolated us for years. We have come with our aching hunger. We have come with recent deaths weighing on our hearts. We have come with the numbing confusion of grasping for the rudder in a rudderless world. We have come to find truth when everything else is lies. When we have given up on loving ourselves and others, we have come with a desperate last hope that here we will find love. We came for love.

The shepherd has become the sheep who sacrifices himself for the rest of the flock. The king reigns from a tree. The one who is I AM has accomplished the perfect salvation of the world. It is finished. It is complete. The Savior of the world has stretched out his arms to draw all people to himself. This Shepherd has become a slain sheep so that everyone can be found.

We look up at him on the cross. Then we look down in awe at all who have come here, many of whom we would never have imagined could be in this place. We are surprised by love. Here, at the cross, is the place where deepest loneliness becomes the place of deepest communion. Here, at the cross, is the place where death becomes life. Here, at the cross, is the place where all that is unloved is loved for all eternity.

We heard him say it. We still hear him say it. I am, he says. The blazing bush is before us. We take off our shoes because we are on holy ground. We have come for love, and love speaks. And we fall backward to the ground. And we worship and adore.   

Sermon by Father Kyle
The Great Vigil and First Mass of Easter
April 8, 2023  

For Love

On Good Friday, we are usually looking up. Jesus hangs on the cross, arms stretched out in love as if to embrace the whole world. Jesus and his agony, it seems, is the focus of our attention this day. But what if we looked down? What would we see?

When those who were near the cross on that solemn day finally looked down after Jesus gave up his spirit, there were many surprises. All around, they had come. Some, like the Blessed Mother, Mary the wife of Cleophas, Mary Magdalene, and the Beloved Disciple are named. But there were others who were not named. Something had drawn them here.

There were plenty who were here for the sport of a public execution. There were those who did the dastardly deed with nails and hammers. There were the soldiers who would pierce his side. But I’m not talking about these. I’m talking about the ones who came for a different reason. They came for love.

The ones who came for love weren’t drawn by the words Pilate hastily wrote and placed above Jesus’s head on the cross. They certainly weren’t there for the spectacle or for curiosity. They weren’t there to jeer or mock Jesus. The ones who came for love came for one reason only: they knew his voice.

It was a motley collection of people there near the foot of the cross. They surprised one another. But that’s what love does: it surprises us. Of course, the poor were there. The ones who hardly had two denaari to rub together came because they were hungry. They knew the one on the cross could not give them bread right now, but they knew he would feed them. They had heard him say so: I am the bread of life. Even on the verge of death, he would satisfy their hunger.

The lonely were there, too. Some of the outcasts and the social pariahs came as well. Some had committed crimes that they hoped no one would ever discover. The only place they knew to come was here, the foot of the cross. Because they heard him say before: I am the good shepherd. They knew that where the deepest loneliness was, he would most certainly be there, too.

There were other women besides the Marys, women, unfortunates treated as less than human in their marriages. And there were the people regarded as notorious sinners, shunned by society, and vulnerable to abuse. They came because they heard him say it: I am the gate for the sheep. They knew that this was the safest place on earth, and that when they came close to him, he would protect them, even if it seemed like the most dangerous place on earth.

There were the blind, who knew that they could find their deepest sight in this man hanging from a tree. And those who needed others to carry them were brought. The sick and the suffering made the journey here, too. They came for healing, because they heard him say it before: I am the light of the world. This one on the cross would give light to the darkness of their lives.

Among those near the cross were some of the most aimless and directionless. Some had been led astray by false prophets before. Some thought they had faith until a tragedy struck. Others didn’t know God until they heard this one say it: I am the way, and the truth, and the life. In the chaos of their lives, something about this man compelled them to come, trusting that they would find abundant life.

Those who were mourning recent deaths stood expectantly waiting at the foot of the cross. Their bowels groaned with the emptiness of their losses, but they came because they heard him say it before: I am the resurrection and the life. They had heard about Lazarus. They knew that the who had wept for his friend would give them hope.

They all went to the foot of the cross because they had heard his voice. Even above the fracas of the angry crowd, even above the pounding of the nails into the hard wood of a cross, even above the tone of cynicism, they still heard his voice. They recognized it, because the one who was now the spotless victim had called them by name. The Good Shepherd of the sheep was now the innocent lamb led to the slaughter. He was true to his word. He would indeed give his life for his precious sheep. They knew it now. They knew his voice. So, to the cross they came. They came for love.

And here we are. We are at the foot of the cross. We are a no less surprising group of people than those who gathered at the cross for love oh so many years ago. We have heard him say it, too, which is why we came. We have come with all that seems unlovable about us. We have come with our deepest secrets and most painful sins that have isolated us for years. We have come with our aching hunger. We have come with recent deaths weighing on our hearts. We have come with the numbing confusion of grasping for the rudder in a rudderless world. We have come to find truth when everything else is lies. When we have given up on loving ourselves and others, we have come with a desperate last hope that here we will find love. We came for love.

The shepherd has become the sheep who sacrifices himself for the rest of the flock. The king reigns from a tree. The one who is I AM has accomplished the perfect salvation of the world. It is finished. It is complete. The Savior of the world has stretched out his arms to draw all people to himself. This Shepherd has become a slain sheep so that everyone can be found.

We look up at him on the cross. Then we look down in awe at all who have come here, many of whom we would never have imagined could be in this place. We are surprised by love. Here, at the cross, is the place where deepest loneliness becomes the place of deepest communion. Here, at the cross, is the place where death becomes life. Here, at the cross, is the place where all that is unloved is loved for all eternity.

We heard him say it. We still hear him say it. I am, he says. The blazing bush is before us. We take off our shoes because we are on holy ground. We have come for love, and love speaks. And we fall backward to the ground. And we worship and adore.     

Sermon by Father Kyle Babin
Good Friday
April 7, 2023

Tending to the Feet

I wonder where his eyes were as he washed their feet. He must have looked each disciple in the eye before pouring water over their feet and bathing them. How painful was the gaze into Judas’s eyes? How comprehending was his glance at Peter, knowing his pending denial? How affectionate was his look at the Beloved Disciple?

But I suppose that most of his time was spent looking not at their eyes but at their feet. He could tell so much about them just from their feet. It was their feet that needed tending. He wasn’t a charlatan reading a palm. He had a genuinely intimate knowledge of their lives. Their feet told him everything, more than perhaps they wanted him to know.

As he bathed their feet with water and caressed them, he saw so much about their pasts. He saw the calluses from standing on the rocky seashores waiting all day for a catch. He saw the strain of overwork in trying to earn a living. He saw the countless miles trod behind him throughout Galilee. He saw the scars from accidents and the first signs of poor health. He felt the tension in the muscles of the feet that didn’t want to be handled. He felt the instinctive pull away as he took a foot to wash it.

In washing their feet, he could read their lives. This evening, he knows too much. He knows which feet will continue to follow in his footsteps long after his body has been taken down off the cross. He knows exactly which pair of feet will go out into the night to betray him into the hands of his murderers. He knows which pair of feet will be at the top of the cross instead of the bottom when he is crucified. He knows which feet will traverse distant continents for the sake of his good news. He knows which feet will be buried in distant lands, far from home, all because of him.

The disciples don’t yet know about their future. They don’t yet know exactly where their feet will take them. They don’t yet know what other feet they will have to wash. But this evening, for a sacred meal, they have come to holy ground, whether they know it or not. Like Moses, they have taken off their sandals because now, in this hour, they are standing at the gate of heaven, even though they don’t quite understand it.

We, too, are on holy ground. We are standing at the gate of heaven, even though it may be hard to see. We will shortly be invited to take off our sandals to approach this holy ground. It’s the first step to walk through the gate of heaven. With bare feet, we will come before Christ, who knows everything about our lives just by looking at our feet. He knows the one who stands all day working a thankless job and whose feet are so very tired. He knows the one whose left foot is permanently scarred from childhood. He knows the one whose feet have never known the strain of hard labor. He knows the one whose feet haven’t had a real home in years. He knows all our stories just by looking at our feet.

Whether we show them to him or not, he knows it all. But the invitation to take off our sandals on this holy ground is a sign of respect both for this sacred place and moment and for the one who is calling us to heaven. Tonight, it’s not about the head or the hands. It’s not about trying to rationalize the mystery before us. Tonight, we are asked to let Christ do something for us that puts us utterly beyond the temptation to control his gift.

Week after week, we stretch out our hands to receive his precious gift in the Eucharist. Tonight, we will do the same. We will celebrate the very institution of that gift. But although it’s pure gift, we find so many ways to try to control it. We weaponize it or add it to our tally of things we need to do to get into heaven. We receive it because it will do something for us.

But not tonight. This evening, Christ invites us to receive a different kind of gift. It’s a strange and uncomfortable one. He asks us to let him wash our feet, to read our lives. He anoints our feet for mission and service. In order to serve and love as he loves us, we can’t simply summon the will to do so. We must take off our shoes here on holy ground. We must lay bare everything before the one who knew us in our mother’s womb.

We must let go of our desire to control this uncomfortable moment by refusing his offer. We must let go of our pride to expose our battered and ugly feet to the light before our friends. We must forfeit every instinct that will serve everyone else but not let ourselves be served.

Tonight is not about the head or the hands. It’s not even so much about the heart. It’s about the feet. We must receive without condition the uncontrollable gift being offered to us before we can dare to serve others and love them to the end.

Only after we have let him wash our feet are we prepared to feast with Jesus. We feast on him with urgency, loins girded for service, sandals once again on our feet, staff in our hand, ready to lead others. Only now, having been served, can we run out into the world, into the freedom of perfect service and undying love.

Sermon by Father Kyle Babin
Maundy Thursday
April 6, 2023

The Voice that Is Never Silent

There are places that mark time in relation to natural disasters. In Galveston, Texas, everyone remembers the 1900 hurricane. Tohoku, Japan is still reeling from the devastating tsunami of 2011. New Orleans, Louisiana, is not the same after Hurricane Katrina. Things were better before the catastrophes; things will always be worse afterwards.

But this natural disaster is remembered in a different way. It was both a natural disaster and a supernatural event. While one person died, everyone lived after it.

If you go to the Holy Land today, you can see the scar left in the earth by this cataclysmic event. You can put your hand on the spot. It’s as if the earth opened its mouth in death and was frozen in time. When no one else cried out for justice, the earth did.

It’s one of the eerie details of St. Mat thew’s account of Jesus’s passion. Jesus is ominously silent as he approaches the cross. How can he be anything else? He’s said what he needed to say. He’s done what he needed to do. What can he say now that will change the world’s mind? Even his disciples have lost their nerve. Whatever he says will be used against him. Better to remain silent. Until his dying words on the cross, he has nothing left to say. Or at least, that’s what we think.

But after Jesus’s final cry and last breath, there are more words that will be spoken. First, there is a moment of stillness. It seems to those standing by that death has the concluding word. Hanging in the air are the lies used to nail Jesus to the cross. Hanging in the air is the suicidal despair of Judas, who couldn’t forgive himself. Hanging in the air are doubt and skepticism about the claims of Jesus. Hanging in the air is the unspoken question: where is God?

And then, it happens. It’s the natural disaster that will leave the world changed forever. For centuries to come, people will measure their lives by this event. We still do. From out of the silence, there’s the ripping of the curtain in the Temple from top to bottom, from heaven to earth. There’s the rumble as the tectonic plate of human sin rubs up against the tectonic plate of eternal life. There’s a crack as rocks are split. And the earth heaves and opens up. Jesus approaches his death with silence, but out of that silence, creation itself groans. These are the birth pangs of a new creation.

And the tragedy is that an earthquake is what it takes for the centurion and his companions to confess Jesus as God’s Son. Peter may already have proclaimed Jesus as Messiah, but his cowardly denial has belied his confession. Now, when sentient beings have failed to tell and receive the truth, it’s the earth that must speak.

It groans, and it cracks open. It’s a visible sign that God’s good creation has been marred and broken. The tangible reminder that can still be seen today is a cleft in the earth where the tectonic plate of sin has ground against the tectonic plate of eternal life. In this cleft is the silence of Jesus’s final moments before he breathed his last. In this cleft is the silence before evil. In this cleft is the silent complicity in the face of yet more children killed at school. In this cleft are the insidious lies that protect our own comfort and the inner resentments and prejudices that have become our idols. In this cleft are the false accusations of death.

But in this gap in the natural earth, we also have a hint that the story is far from finished. Now, there are aftershocks. We begin to hear movement below the surface of the earth as tombs open. Those who have been dead are no longer so, but they have not yet come out.

This is too much. Inanimate creation itself has spoken when animate beings remain silent, and so animate beings must do their best to seal up the truth. Roll a stone over the truth. Seal it up with lies.

But the final words of this story will not be silenced. They are yet to be spoken. Although the earth has spoken, another voice will speak. This is only the beginning. People will measure the rest of their lives by this event, but unlike other disasters, what rises from this cleft in the earth is a creation that has been entirely remade.

Now, on both sides of a gaping hole in the earth, despair is turned into hope. Peter’s denial is forgiven. Our struggle to pray, which echoes the inability of Jesus’s disciples to pray with him, gives way to the Holy Spirit praying within us. Lies are not erased, but the truth speaks, if quieter, with a stronger voice. Because of the cleft in the earth, things will always have the potential to be better.

We’ve heard it foreshadowed before. The stones themselves will cry out when human beings are silent. And, indeed, the stones have groaned and heaved. The earth has been opened. And in just a few days, a stone rolled across the opening of a tomb will not be able to prevent this voice from speaking the final word. Because this voice is never silent.

Sermon by Father Kyle Babin
The Sunday of the Passion: Palm Sunday
April 2, 2023

Come and See

Do you remember the first time you saw someone cry? Was it a parent who was grieving? Was it a sister who fell and scraped her knee on the playground? Was it you, looking in the mirror as tears rolled down your face because you were scolded?

I don’t remember the first time I saw someone cry. But I remember all kinds of occasions when I saw others cry: myself in school when a teacher was harsh with me, one of my parents at a funeral, a school librarian after receiving a call that her father had died.

And I remember being mystified by tears. Tears are a funny thing indeed. Sometimes, when a person is crying, it’s impossible to tell whether they’re sad or happy. People cry when they’ve suffered a loss. They cry when they’re in physical pain. They cry when they laugh at a joke. They cry when they’ve received good news. Tears are a mystery, aren’t they?

When Jesus cries after the death of his friend Lazarus, it may be one of the most touching moments in holy Scripture. Here we see Jesus’s full humanity. Jesus wept. But it’s so easy to romanticize Jesus’s tears. There’s no doubt in my mind that Jesus was sad at the death of his friend, but it's also true that Jesus didn’t cry when he first learned of Lazarus’s death. Did he eventually cry because he wished he’d gone to Lazarus sooner? Maybe, even though Jesus did everything according to his Father’s time. Did he cry because he saw Mary weeping, as well as her friends? Perhaps. Sometimes, it’s the tears of others that open the floodgates on our own tear ducts.

We don’t really know why Jesus cried. But could his tears have been prompted by what is said to him when he asks where Lazarus has been laid? It’s a familiar line in John’s Gospel. We first hear it way back in chapter one, right after Jesus is baptized. He’s walking by John and two of his disciples. They begin to follow Jesus. They ask him where he’s staying. And Jesus utters the words that seem to elicit his own tears in chapter eleven. Come and see.

Maybe it’s just such an ordinary line that John can’t help but use it when Jesus asks where Lazarus has been laid to rest. Maybe it’s nothing more than that. But I can’t shake the fact that this invitation, Come and see, is no ordinary line in the hands of St. John. It’s the invitation by which all come to Christ and begin walking the road of discipleship.

And it’s what precedes Jesus’s tears. Come and see. It’s a haunting memory of the call of the first disciples, before all the troubles that Jesus would soon encounter. It’s a poignant recollection of the most important call of the Messiah. Come and see. Come follow me, and you will be changed forever.

But what are Jesus’s tears? Are they merely tears of sadness? Are they tears of deep hurt? Are they tears of anger? Are they, mysteriously enough, tears of joy? What kind of tears does Jesus cry? Because in those tears, we find a hinge point in the story of Jesus’s mission.

Jesus’s tears are at the emotionally laden moment where the sober reality of death meets the promise of eternal life. There’s no question that Lazarus was dead. Jesus says as much. Lazarus didn’t simply fall asleep. He died. His friends, family, and Jesus himself wept salty tears at this hard reality.

But death has met more than its match in the promise of eternal life. It’s not a mere whiff of eternal life that will only come at some point in the future. Jesus himself is the incarnated presence of eternal life. Eternal life is walking on the earth.

And eternal life incarnated is weeping. He is deeply moved in spirit and troubled. He is, as the Greek verb tells us, even indignant. And in his emotional turmoil, three haunting words prompt Jesus’s tears because something is terribly, terribly wrong. His precious invitation has been inverted. Come and see are supposed to be the words that are used to invite others into discipleship, into life, not death. Come and see this man who has changed our lives forever! Come and see the one who heals the sick, makes the blind to see, and shows such compassion! Come and see the one for whom we have been waiting for so long!

Come and see is an invitation into freedom. It’s the call to see in visible form God remaking a world rent apart by sin and evil. It’s the call to let go of the guilt, shame, and trauma of our past and walk out into a redeemed future. It’s the call to leave behind the shackles of a world captive to sin and death and to cross the Red Sea into glorious liberty. It’s the call to leave behind everything to follow the one who will transform our selves, souls, and bodies.

And now, Jesus’s beautiful words of invitation are being used to invite us to look only at death and not at life on the other side of it. This is what’s terribly wrong. Come and see where Lazarus has been laid. Come and see that we will never hear Lazarus’s voice again. Come and see his cold, lifeless body in the dark tomb. Come and see the wound that has been punctured in our hearts. Come and see that death has won this fight.

And Jesus, indignant and deeply moved inside, is groaning with righteous anger at the cowardly shrewdness of death. And then he weeps. Surely they are tears of sorrow. Surely they are tears of hurt.

Jesus weeps at the hideous brashness of death, which thinks it always has the last word. Jesus weeps at the travesty of the accusing voice of the evil one who would invite us to stare death in the face as if it were all there is. As Jesus wept, he still weeps as we stand at the crossroads, where death and eternal life face off. We stand there all the time. Perhaps even now you are hearing the voice of death call to you.

Come and see, it says, that you never were much, and you never will be much. Come and see, it says, that you will always be measured by your worst offenses. Come and see, it says, that your illness is proof that God can do nothing for you. Come and see, it says, that you will never be able to forgive the one who hurt you thirty years ago. Come and see, it says, that war and violence are the only ways to safety. Come and see, it says, that the Church’s decline will be her sure demise. Come and see, it says, that the damage inflicted on this good earth is too far gone to rehabilitate. Come and see, come and see, come and see that death has won.

And Jesus weeps. He still weeps with us. He weeps because the precious invitation to discipleship has been coopted by death’s lies that still speak softly in our ears. He weeps because we have bought these lies and still do when we are told that this world’s vicious terms are what we must accept. But he weeps, too, with joy that this is, indeed, not the end of the story. He weeps because he is standing at the entrance to the tomb and calling to us.

Surely Jesus’s tears are also tears of joy. They are the only visible expression of a joy so deep that others don’t yet understand it. Jesus weeps because what everyone else thinks is the end of the story is only the beginning.

As he summoned Lazarus to life, the Good Shepherd still stands outside the tomb and calls each of us, by name. Come out, he cries! Come out from your bondage, and I will loosen all that is binding you to sin and death. Come out and see that, although death is undoubtedly real, it’s not the end. Come out and see that even in this life, resurrection glory is casting its glow upon us. Come out and see that there’s always room for forgiveness. Come out and see that we never need to accept the lie that death is the final word. Come out and see that if you believe in me, you will live forever.

And when we emerge from the tomb, we squint because our eyes are so used to the dark. But we have done it. We have stood at the crossroads where death confronts more than its match. One voice rises above the tensive fray. We have recognized the voice of the one who is our true Shepherd, whose voice we will always know. He’s calling our name. And we turn away from the cowardly voice of death because we know it’s the voice of the hireling.

And like Jesus, we weep. We weep that for so long we have believed the voices of death that have tried to pull us down. But we also weep because we have experienced the deepest joy imaginable. We now know, like we’ve never known before, that in this battle, one voice always wins. Come and see, and you will be changed. Come and see that things can be so different. Come and see, and you will live forever.

Sermon by Father Kyle Babin
The Fifth Sunday in Lent
March 26, 2023

One Thing I Know

It’s what you say when a man in his thirties dies of a gunshot wound on the trauma room table, when the doctors have left the room and you’re alone with the family and they ask why it happened. It’s what you say when the person who can’t afford to stay in her home because of rent increases ask you what she can do to find a new one in an economy that doesn’t care for the poor. It’s what you say when someone who doesn’t go to church asks you how those who do go to church still be so unforgiving. It’s what you say when an antagonist of religion asks you to explain where God was in the Holocaust or 9/11 or the tsunami in Japan. I don’t know.

It’s the answer that’s either evasive or the most truthful thing one can say. Oddly, this simple statement, I don’t know, is sometimes the most appropriate response to the most complicated and vexing questions of life. I don’t know is what we’d rather not say, because it requires humility and shows the limits of our humanity. I don’t know flies in the face of our modern propensity to find easy answers to complex problems. I don’t know seems to suggest we are ignorant, lazy, or letting ourselves off the hook from trying to figure things out. I don’t know is what the man born blind is not afraid to say.

Did you catch that? When everyone presses him to give them the answers they want to hear, he just says I don’t know. If it isn’t enough that this man has never had the gift of physical sight until Jesus lays hands on him and that he has had to beg for much of his life, he is bandied about from person to person to justify their contentions with Jesus.

Most people in this story want to be able to explain things satisfactorily. It begins with Jesus’s own disciples, who assume that the man’s blindness must be the result of either his sin or his parents’ sin. We’ve all heard it before, haven’t we? The hurricane ravaged New Orleans because its people were immoral. AIDS is a punishment for those who are sexually aberrant. The fall of Jerusalem was because of the disobedience of God’s people.

But thankfully, Jesus doesn’t answer the question put to him by his disciples. He categorically dismisses an easy casual connection between sin and illness. His response is one more confounding statement with no clear explanation. Even God’s works can be wrought through the blindness of a man begging on the street.

When they recognize that this man is now able to see, and upon learning that the healing is because the man obeyed Jesus’s command, they want to know where Jesus is. I don’t know is what the man born blind says. It doesn’t seem to bother him. He doesn’t really know why Jesus wanted to heal him, or why Jesus then disappeared, or even how in the world his blindness was taken away. He doesn’t know any of that, but what he does know is that once he was blind, but now he can see. For him, that’s enough.

And how different this is from the others in the story whose I don’t knows lack any real integrity. The parents of the man who now sees rightly admit that they don’t know how he now sees, nor do they know who healed him, but they say I don’t know because they’re afraid. They’re afraid that if they connect the healing of their son to the Christ, they will be social pariahs. Their I don’t know is spineless and evasive.

And the I don’t know of Jesus’s opponents is made into an accusation against him. We don’t know where he comes from, and therefore, how do we know he’s not some troublemaking imposter? How do we know that God is really with him?

  But ironically, the man who once was physically blind has the clearest spiritual sight. He can say in the same sentence I don’t know whether the man who healed me is a sinner or not, but what I do know is that once I was blind and now I see. It matters not to him that the man could be a sinner or that he can’t explain how he was healed. It only matters that he was healed. He was healed when he didn’t even ask for it. He must have known that there was some truth in what he didn’t know.

It’s said that the more we know, the more we understand what we don’t know. This may be true, but it also seems that the more we know, the less we are satisfied with what we don’t know, especially when it comes to God. These days, people seem more inclined to religion that will tell them everything, even when the teachers don’t really know all the answers. If we don’t know the answer, we make it up, telling ourselves that some answer is better than none. And even when someone is willing to admit that they don’t know something about God, they expect someone else to give them the answer. At various points in her history, the Church has tried to say too much about God, and at times, it has gone horribly wrong. Saying I don’t know has led people to the stake or caused them to be cast out or condemned as heretics. Intolerance for I don’t know has divided denominations and destroyed parishes, and it still does.

Where we see division among us, whether in the Church or in the world, it often occurs where a question meets a definitive answer. A question about whether something new can be done is met with a defensive response that it has and will always be done this way. A question about whether previously ostracized individuals can be welcomed as authentic members of a community of faith is greeted with the charge that God doesn’t listen to sinners. You see how it goes.

It doesn’t matter how many times we point to what God is doing among us, especially when it’s fresh, new, and surprising; there will always be others who don’t want to hear that truth. There will always be some who say, “don’t confuse me with the facts” because the facts don’t support their worldview.

The man who once was blind but now sees is proof that an honest I don’t know leads one to a lonely place, but it can also lead to the place of deepest truth. Perhaps this is part of what it means to bear our cross in Christian discipleship. Sometimes, we are only left holding a mystery that we can’t explain but which is truth itself. It’s the mystery that the wonders of God’s healing power can be seen in a man blind from birth and relegated to begging on the side of the street. It’s the mystery that even we who were formed from clay but have been misshapen by sin are loved enough to have our eyes anointed by Christ’s healing hand. It’s the mystery that God’s healing isn’t always as complicated as we imagine, and sometimes it’s as simple as heeding his command to go and wash and come back seeing. It’s the mystery that belief is not articulating tomes of doctrine or dogma but as simple as pointing to where the Holy Spirit is active in our lives, spectacular or unspectacular. It’s the mystery that when we think we see clearly, we might actually be blind, and when we are wandering in the darkness and are confused, perhaps we see most clearly. It’s the mystery that even in those we have always thought were sinners, perhaps God is manifesting himself. It’s the mystery that the light of truth often hurts because our eyes have gotten so used to the dark.

It takes the man born blind a while to know exactly who Jesus is. There’s so much he doesn’t know about Jesus, even after he confesses his belief. But what he doesn’t know doesn’t impede his belief, because the man who now sees is proof that the mark of a true believer is receiving truth, rather than creating or defending it.

It's a terribly lonely place, to sit and hold the mystery of God when we are assailed with requests to explain it. It’s a lonely place to point to what God has done in our lives when others think we’re foolish for wasting our time. It’s a lonely place to hold the mystery that God is doing remarkable things in a parish that is seeking to rebuild after so much trouble, even when others just see your challenges and problems. It’s a lonely place to say that you’ll never be 100% certain that God loves you for who you are when others call you a sinner and cast you out. It’s a lonely place to point to the ordinary evidence of God’s hand when others only see God’s absence.

But it’s to this lonely place that Jesus, the Good Shepherd always comes, just as he found the man born blind. The Good Shepherd will always find us when we have been cast out by others. In the face of mystery, to say I don’t know is the only thing we can say, and it’s the most honest. It’s the key that unlocks the door and lets the light and the truth in. And then we can say, Lord, I believe. There’s so much I don’t know, but I believe because you found me in my loneliness. This I do know, that when I was lost, you sought me out. When I was hurting, you comforted me. When I was confused, you guided me. Once I was blind to all this, but thank God, now I see.

Sermon by Father Kyle Babin
The Fourth Sunday in Lent
March 19, 2023

At the Well

Did you notice it in the scene at the well? The Samaritan woman left it as if it were completely forgotten. Seemingly innocuous but speaking volumes, it’s the water jar. The jar rests on the ground, as if carelessly thrown there in haste. It’s abandoned, untended and unfilled. The woman never bothered to fill it. She never even gave Jesus the drink of water for which he asked. It’s a poignant symbol as well as a utilitarian thing. It represents dashed hopes, haunted memories, things done and left undone. It represents the gut-wrenching hunger pains and thirsty aching for fulfillment, even though it’s never satisfied.

And yet, this water jar says everything about what has just transpired at the well in this village. The water jar testifies silently to the hollow pains of haunted, even traumatic memories. It tells part of the story of the present, of this Samaritan woman’s surprising encounter with Jesus. It also tells something of the future. The water jar’s forlorn status, left unused by a deep well and by a thirsty Jesus, represents a woman who has been changed forever.

I wish we knew her name, but we don’t. Perhaps that says something about why her transformation at the well was so significant. She appeared at the well in the middle of the day. I imagine the sun was blazing down upon the village square. She came for one thing only; she came to quench her thirst.

It was wearying to keep returning to the well, day after day, to fill and refill the water jar. But she did it anyway. And when she brings her water jar, she brings so much more, too, even if unspoken. She brings her many marriages and her feelings of being passed around from husband to husband as if she were an object to be used and then put aside. We honestly don’t know whether those marriages were ended due to divorce or whether the woman had married five brothers from the same family, each of whom successively died. After all, in her day, the custom of levirate marriage was intended to provide for a woman’s safety. A man had a duty to marry his brother’s widow and provide for her, even if she were not truly loved. We have no reason to assume the Samaritan woman committed any sexual sin, and frankly, it’s not the point of this story.[1] When she brings her water jar to the well, she brings all the sad endings to her marriages. That’s all that matters.

She brings her loneliness in a culture that treated women as objects to be traded and used. She brings all in her past of which she is ashamed, even if she’s not to blame for some of it. She brings, too, her indelible status as a Samaritan now in close company with this man, a Jew, to whom she shouldn’t even speak.

This woman is looking for water because she’s thirsty, very thirsty. But she’s looking for something else, too. She’s longing for that emptiness inside to be filled, but with what, she knows not. And when she leaves that water jar to run and find others to bring back to the well, she has found only one of the things for which she thirsted, and, ultimately, it’s all that matters.

It's there at the well that Jesus invites her into conversation. He asks her to serve him, and then he serves her. He tells her to bring all that she desires to hide from him and others. He coaxes her into telling the full truth. He tells her everything about herself, and then some. And then, he tells her who he is, and everything changes after that.

After that, the well is no longer a place for Samaritans to keep apart from Jews. After that, the brokenness of the past and all its haunted moments are forgiven and forgotten. After that, many more people with their own empty water jars come to Jesus to be filled. After that, the well becomes not a place for thirst to be quenched but a place where eternal life is given.

And here, this day, we have come with our water jars and, oh, so much emptiness. To this deep well, to this Mass, we have brought our loneliness in an age where we’re more connected than we’ve ever been but perhaps the loneliest we’ve ever been. Three years after a pandemic toppled all our Tower of Babels, we bring humbling silence in the face of life’s mysteries. To this deep well, we bring, week after week, empty water jars that resound with the unanswered prayers of our lives. And each week, we pray that we will leave this well with overflowing jars, sloshing water on our way out. To this deep well, we bring the malaise of our lives, which we try so desperately to assuage on social media, or with academic status, job promotions, or our children’s successes. To this deep well, we bring the aching thirst of anxiety and of worries about ailing parents. We bring our desire to be loved for who we are instead of who we should be. To this well, even if secretly, we bring all the hard knots of emotions inside us that we desperately long for God to unloose.

But each week, it seems, we leave with empty jars. Perhaps we have a bit of water in them, but the thirst is still aching inside us. And this is the main reason why we keep returning week after week. We so badly want our water jars to be filled to the top.

Until one day—only God knows when—something changes. One day, as on the day with that woman at the well, we meet for the first time—and I mean, really meet—a man named Jesus who has been sitting at the well all along. Before, we just never saw him. He has been there all along, weary, and tired by the sins of humankind. He has been there all along, sitting in the heat of the day, thirsty himself, and carrying the wounds of his tragic death still on his hands and his feet. He has been asking us for a drink, but we have not seen him.

But on this one day, for whatever reason, we notice him. At first, we don’t understand how he can be talking to us. He’s Jesus. We are sinners. Jesus and sinners don’t share things in common, we say. But he’s offering us something else, something far more substantial than water from a well. He asks us to bring everything from our past that we have tried to hide from him and others. He tells us all about ourselves, those things done and left horribly undone. He shows us the humiliations, the shame, and the haunted losses of our past. He reveals the emptiness of our present.

We suddenly realize that this vulnerable man, sitting by the side of a deep well, is showing us all things, about ourselves and about our salvation. He knows everything about our past, and yet, he’s still here, waiting for us to receive his gift, the only gift that will quench our thirst.

And we finally understand that our reasons for coming here to the well week after week, even day after day, were the wrong ones. We came trying to show only certain things about ourselves when Jesus wanted it all. We came hoping only for that new job or for the cancer to be taken away. We came so that God might heal our painful past and give us a new direction. But now we know that the only reason worth coming here to this deep well is to be with Jesus.

He has been here all along wanting to draw us into conversation. He has been waiting week after week to tell us all about ourselves and to help us tell him all about ourselves. We realize, as we never have before, that this well may be the only place on earth where the most unlikely candidates do share things in common. Here white people and people of color sup together. Here all things are shared by rich and poor, male and female, housed and unhoused, liberal and conservative. Here at the well, we are known in a way that we are known nowhere else. And so, there is only one response we can make.

We drop with haste the water jars we have brought. We care not that they look empty, because we are no longer empty inside. We cast aside those jars, and we run from the well—from this place—and we find everyone we can to tell them about whom we have met. We don’t promise them easy answers or quickly answered prayers. We don’t tell them they’ll never be thirsty or hungry again. We just tell them the truth. We tell them that here at the well, we have encountered someone who knows everything about us. And even so, he abides at the well, weary and tired though he may be, to talk with us, because this man is Love itself.

And when we return to the well again with friends and strangers, we see for the first time that we have come for a different reason. We haven’t come to fill our water jars or to quench our thirst. We have come only to talk and be with the Risen Christ, the one who has never given up on us and who will never give up on us. We have come finally to accept his invitation and to abide with him forever.

Sermon by Father Kyle Babin
The Third Sunday in Lent
March 12, 2023

[1] See “John” by Gail O’Day in Women’s Bible Commentary, eds. Carol A. Newsom and Sharon H. Ringe (Louisville, KY: Westminster John Knox Press, 1998), 384.

On the Other Side of Judgment

A 2017 online article by the Religion News Service noted the significant rise in attendance at services of Choral Evensong in the United Kingdom, despite the sobering decrease in Sunday morning church attendance. The editor of a website devoted to Choral Evensong noted that many people don’t want to engage directly with the Church anymore. They are looking for what he called a “side entrance,” and in his estimation, Choral Evensong provided such a side entrance. As he put it, those who engage indirectly with the Church “are attracted by artistic expression and then by osmosis they find it spiritually appealing.”[1]

The article quoted several tourists from across the globe who attended Evensong at Westminster Abbey, most of whom observed that they were either not religious, or only “spiritual but not religious.” One woman from Colorado said, “I used to go to church more when I was young but the rules, the judging of people put me off. But the church here, with a service like this, brings people together.”[2]

The sublime beauty of Evensong, its low demand on active participation, and its focus on the transcendence of God are quite appealing to many who would otherwise never step foot inside a church. For whatever reason, people are deeply hungry for the beauty of holiness, even if experienced from the fringes of the Church. It reminds me of the story that during the height of the Civil War, Abraham Lincoln, who was known to struggle with traditional Christian dogma, would wander across Lafayette Square from the White House to sit quietly in a back pew at St. John’s Church for Evensong, and then he would leave just as quietly as he came.

If those on the fringes of religious life could call anyone their patron, perhaps it would be Nicodemus. He has long been considered a prototype of the classic seeker. On one level this is true. Nicodemus comes to Jesus by night because he’s been intrigued by something in the signs that Jesus has performed. We don’t know exactly why he makes his visit at night, but it could be that his tentativeness in coming to Jesus was due to his fear of being seen too closely associated with this mysterious teacher, who also had a reputation for being a troublemaker.

Based on a surface reading of the text, Nicodemus misses a whole layer of meaning in Jesus’s speech. Nicodemus confusedly interprets Jesus’s words on a literal level, while Jesus is wallowing in double entendre, which is even more apparent in the original Greek text. In short, Jesus and Nicodemus talk past one another.

But I wonder if there’s more to Nicodemus than we have historically given him credit for. True, he may be a kind of seeker, but in many ways he’s quite different from the modern seeker. Nicodemus, after all, is very religious. He’s not on the fringes of religion, he’s deep into it. But Jesus is urging him to be more spiritual. Nicodemus is the inverse of the person who is spiritual but not religious.

And yet, for all his literalism and incomprehension of what following Jesus really means, could it also be that Nicodemus sees something that others around him don’t see? Does he see more in Jesus than we think he sees? Yes, he may make a nocturnal visit to Jesus, and he may leave that visit with more questions than answers. But maybe there’s more to Nicodemus than meets the eye.

I suspect that Nicodemus instinctively knows what he can’t yet clearly articulate or confidently live. He’s already made a confession of sorts in approaching Jesus. “Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher come from God; for no one can do these signs that you do, unless God is with him.” Something tantalizing has drawn Nicodemus to Jesus, even if at night. Jesus is more than a teacher. God is with him, as Nicodemus recognizes. He can see hints of a striking truth revealed in Jesus. And although Nicodemus might not know how to put it into words, could that something be that a glorious gift lies on the other side of judgment?

One thing is clear in John’s Gospel: judgment is present in who Jesus is. When we are in the presence of Risen Christ, our lives are automatically judged. The ways of our lives are pitted against the one who is truth itself, and the ensuing judgment reveals the tension between our ways and God’s ways. This judgment sheds light on the dark corners of our lives that we would rather hide away. The judgment of Christ brings everything into the light.

But so often, we can only see the judgment as punitive, which is not the end of the story. And I have a sneaking suspicion that for all his hesitance, Nicodemus has caught a glimpse of something on the other side of judgment. He has seen hints of this in the visible signs performed by Jesus. There’s something so alluring in what Nicodemus has seen that he must approach Jesus to find out more. Could the allure of Jesus’s signs be visible evidence of the freedom of eternal life? Nicodemus must have seen these encouraging hints in the healing of those with physical ailments, in the grace Jesus extended to those shunned by society, and in the extraordinary ways in which natural laws were defied by the simple presence of this rabbi. Indeed, Jesus tells us that he’s pure gift from God, not for the world’s condemnation but for the world’s life. Our judgment in Christ is not a castigation but a healing grace, so that we can truly embrace the gift of eternal life, be healed, and ultimately be saved.

If Nicodemus shares something in common with the modern-day seeker on the fringes of the Church, is it too scandalous to think that, ironically, those seekers might see something that we in the heart of the Church don’t readily see? Even if they can’t articulate the mystery that they espy, might those seekers help us who are comfortably religious become more spiritual, too?

Do you remember what the random tourist from Colorado said after Evensong at Westminster Abbey? “I used to go to church more when I was young but the rules, the judging of people put me off. But the church here, with a service like this, brings people together.” This person could appreciate something in the transcendent worship of the Church that pointed past the critical and hypocritical judgment that is sometimes wielded by her members. Human judgment is meant to exclude and ostracize rather than to reconcile. But the beauty of holiness, perhaps found in a service of Evensong, was a lens through which a spiritual but not religious person could see the true heart of the Church. Maybe this seeker could see that, despite her flaws, the Church couldn’t do such extraordinary works apart from the presence of God. Despite her weaknesses, God was still with the Church.

Do we need reminding of this? Have we become so complacent with our place in the Church that we’ve forgotten what lies on the other side of judgment? Have we forgotten what incredible works we can do when we are called to live as if we really believe that God is with us rather than implicitly against us? Can seekers, whether religious or not, draw our attention to that special something that is the real meaning of life in Christ, which is nothing short of the freedom given through the forgiveness, love, and mercy of God?

This, I think, is the meaning of being born anew, being born from above, or being born again, however you say it. Nicodemus sees the hints of potential, but Jesus encourages him to grow into spiritual maturity to realize the fruits of his incipient vision. And like Nicodemus, we and all the seekers on the fringes of the Church, are called not just to glimpse the other side of judgment, but to live on that side. We are called to be born anew.

To be born anew is to live as if what’s on the other side of judgment is really true. It’s to live as if God wants to forgive and not condemn us. It’s to live with the light of Christ shining on all the areas of our lives we would rather hide. It’s to live like beauty matters because it points us to the mystery of God that we can never control, as we try to do with everything else. To be born anew is to go where the Holy Spirit will blow us, no matter how frightening it is when we let go of our navigational powers. To be born anew, repeatedly, is to remember that on the other side of judgment we will encounter God’s greatest gift of all.

Sermon by Father Kyle Babin
The Second Sunday in Lent
March 5, 2023

[1] [1] “Evensong sees a surge even as British church attendance declines,” b Catherine Pepinster, in Religion News Service, August 30, 2017, (https://religionnews.com/2017/08/30/evensong-sees-a-surge-even-as-british-church-attendance-declines/)

[2] Ibid.

Visible and Invisible

One of my seminary professors said that to understand the sacraments, we must hold onto two things for dear life: with one hand, we must hold onto what is visible to us, and with the other, we must hold onto what is invisible.[1] If we let go of one, we lose the mystery of the sacraments. The bread on the altar is really bread but after it has been prayed over, it is also far more than just bread. The water in the font is water from the tap, but it is much, much more after it has been blessed. After all, in just a few minutes, we will profess in the Nicene Creed that we believe in God, the Father almighty, maker of heaven and earth, and of all things visible and invisible. The world in which we live consists of far more than is evident to our eyes.

This holding of the visible and invisible protects us from what may be the greatest temptation of all in life. Jesus’s three temptations in the wilderness can be distilled down to one foundational temptation: to hold only to what is most obvious and visible to us. Tempted in this way, we constantly assess how visible objects can serve our own needs and ours only. We exist with a transactional view of life that contains little notion of invisible potential or sacred value.

The loaf of bread is simply something that satisfies our hunger to alleviate the stomach pangs. The chronic pain is further proof that God has abandoned us. The so-called friend is someone who can help us make the necessary connections to secure the promotion for which we’ve been longing. The sacrament of the Altar is weaponized to establishing conformity to religious teaching. The increasing numbers in the parish register are no more than numbers with dollar signs attached to their foreheads.

In a world comprised only of the visible, what we see is what we get. And what we get usually benefits us alone. But the most dangerous part of a world without the invisible is that God exists for our own use. A God reduced to a visible world is no more than something we can manipulate, whether to enter heaven or to make our lives on this planet as pleasant as possible.

A world comprised only of visible things is, in short, a world ruled by the devil. It’s a world whose mystery is reduced to if-then mathematical statements. It’s transactional. If you do this, then you will achieve that. If you give me that, I’ll give you this. If you’re as talented as you say you are, then prove it to me in visible form. There’s no mystery here. There’s only a script, and there’s no option to deviate from it.

As I said, this is the world of the devil. The devil is no fool, but the devil also has no imagination. The devil focuses on what’s obvious and visible, the things that are superficially tantalizing, because the devil knows that this is where our weakness lies. In the desert when the devil meets Jesus, he can only fixate on the hunger pains that Jesus must be experiencing. The devil can’t see that this hunger leads to spiritual purification.

The devil sees holy Scripture as something to take literally or weaponize. Of course, if you’re reckless enough to throw yourself off a cliff, God would nevertheless send his angels to rescue you. God is just a dispenser of favors. Scripture is a battle ax for winning arguments. When you’re threatened, use a surface reading of Scripture to defend off your enemies. When you’re in a bind, call on God, and God will save you. When you’re uncomfortable, ask God to make you feel better. God is used for our own ease.

For the devil, who only sees what is visible, being worshipped is a way of gaining power. It can be reduced to a business sale. If you worship me, I’ll give you all the kingdoms of the world, which of course only consists of the things you can see.

And Jesus’s responses to the wiles of the devil is to call on the invisible. Things are more than they seem. The world is made of things visible and invisible. Hunger and thirst are not occasions for immediate satisfaction in every instance. Times of danger and insecurity do not always demand rescue. God’s favor can’t be bought, traded, and sold.

The devil’s world, the world of the visible only, seems like the world we live in much of the time. Religion is to be used to give us secure, comfortable lives. We go to church when we need it and feel like it. We use the sacraments as rites of passage. Church doctrine is used so that we don’t have to struggle through ethical quandaries. Relationships are used to garner status or promotions. Our spouses are used only to comfort us when we’re in need. One job is used as a stepping stone for a better one. Prayer is used to magically fulfill our wish list.  

The devil temps us with the glamor of a visible world because he knows that it’s usually the only thing we see. The devil would have us believe that the way of the world is a competition. He would have us believe that life is merely survival of the fittest, so we need to use what’s visible to protect ourselves. The devil would have us believe that the most charismatic leader is the one we should follow. He would have us believe that we should take the advice of everyone who tells us what we want to hear. The devil suggests that we need clear answers to everything to have a steadfast faith.

And although it seems impossible, the devil takes temptation to the vilest level when he would have us believe that God himself only uses us. After all, the devil’s version of God is one who only operates in the visible world. Perhaps in our quest to use whatever and whomever we could for our own favor—including God—we might never have articulated our fear that perhaps God uses us. And maybe this is why we are always trying so hard to make ourselves visible to God, competing with others, overstuffing our egos, and becoming slaves to perfectionism and overwork. The greatest temptation of all is to believe that we are only being used by God, because in such a horrible, twisted world, we are always jockeying to be the one God uses.

If there is any story in Scripture that puts such a wicked notion to rest, it’s the story of Jesus’s temptations. And if we can discern the invisible in this story, we learn in this confounding episode of Jesus’s life that a God who only uses people and things would never have countenanced his Son’s temptations, because salvation could have been achieved far more expediently. And the world of the visible is a world of expediency. But God is a God of patient love, not of expediency.

We’re not mere automatons to be used for God’s purposes in the world. The mere presence of temptation in our lives is proof that God doesn’t try to protect us from harm at the expense of our freedom. God turns us loose in love, and then God meets us in the intricacies, complexities, misfortunes, and tragedies of a world distorted by sin.

The creative power of the living God defies if-then propositions or transactional exchanges. God lives and moves in the visible and invisible worlds we inhabit. God doesn’t use the Church to trick us into behaving. God doesn’t use his gifts of the sacraments to attach strings to his love. God doesn’t heal us so we will worship him. God doesn’t test us so that we will love him more. We never need to vie for God’s attention. It’s always present there in the invisible world we so often eschew.

No, the story of Scripture and the story of God’s interactions with humankind have shown that God has never withheld his love and gifts from us despite our tendency to live only in a visible world. No matter how many times we have used God as a candy machine, used the Church to serve our own lust for power, and no matter how much we have used his good creation to its detriment, God has continued to feed, protect, and love us.

So, beware of the false promises of those who would sell you transactional Christianity. Beware of those who would use God to manipulate your lives. Beware of the lies that equate misfortune with God’s absence. Beware of a world that is only visible.

Cling with all your might to the visible and invisible. Cling to the glory of God’s visible creation and to God’s invisible presence in the slums. Cling to a God who gives and takes away. Cling to a God who loves us and gives us freedom. Cling to a God who invites us to participate in his work in the world but who will never, ever use us. Cling to a God whose love is always ours in the world of the invisible. And then, you will see that beyond the visible demons in the world, there are plenty of angels.

Sermon by Father Kyle Babin
The First Sunday in Lent
February 26, 2023

[1] Thanks to the Rev. Dr. James Farwell for this image.

To Love You Shall Return

This evening, I want to ask you a question. It may seem like a silly question, but for a moment, please bear with me. Ask yourself whether you can really answer this question truthfully. Think before you answer. Look deep within your heart and discern what’s there before you respond. And the question is this: do you believe that you are loved by God? Before you laugh at my question, ponder it in your hearts like Mary. And ask yourself, in all truthfulness, whether you believe that you are loved by God.

It’s a fitting question to ask on Ash Wednesday, if not the most obvious one. On this day of fasting and penitence, we’re prepared to acknowledge what we think is wrong with us. We appropriately recall our sinfulness. We aspire to amendment of life, to go deep within ourselves over forty days, and to seek reconciliation with God and neighbor. The prophet Joel’s words call us to repentance. The apostle Paul asks us to be reconciled to God, no matter the cost. The evangelist Matthew challenges us to live authentically, not hypocritically, and to ensure that our pious actions are about a sincere change of heart and not mere public affirmation of piety.

But ensconced between those readings in today’s Mass, is a little pearl of wisdom about God, found in Psalm 103. It asks us, if indirectly, another surprising question, the question that I just posed to you. Do you really believe that you are loved by God?

I can’t speak for you, but I have a hunch. And my hunch is that many people don’t truly believe they are loved by God. Of course, they would never tell you this. And yet, I think that even some of the most faithful churchgoers don’t imagine they are worthy of God’s mercy, compassion, and forgiveness. And this is why they’re always trying to prove something. They try to earn their way into heaven. They criticize others for being sinners. They entrench themselves in fighting the culture to defend God from it. And many of these same people are precisely the ones who roll their eyes when we speak of God’s love. It sounds wish-washy and flabby, they say. Give us a muscular Christianity, they cry. Let’s talk about God’s wrath. Let’s talk about God’s condemnation. Let’s talk about all those who are destined for hell.

Here’s another hunch of mine: it’s that most people don’t need to be reminded of their sinfulness. They need to be reminded that they are unconditionally loved by God. I would guess that many people are all too aware of their sinfulness. They instinctively know their own proclivities to curse others, hold grudges, refuse to forgive themselves, and stew in envy of others’ gifts. But it stops there. They can’t move on to see that recognition of sinfulness is only the first step towards spiritual maturity. The next, most difficult step is to believe that God will forgive us, indeed that God wants to forgive us. Do you believe this?

Forgiveness comes with a price, and for many, it’s a price too expensive to pay. The price is that we try to live into freedom, rather than clinging to our own judgment, anger, and resentment. The price is that we commit ourselves to amendment of life. But most of us want to stay in Egypt when God is trying to bring us into the Promised Land.

Psalm 103 offers us some of the most beloved words in Scripture. They are repeated countless times throughout its pages, as if the various authors of Scripture knew that these words would be difficult to digest. Most people choke on them or spit them out, without realizing it. God is full of compassion and mercy. God is long-suffering, and of great goodness. God is not perpetually angry with us. God doesn’t deal with us solely on the terms of our sinfulness. The difference between God’s ways and our ways is as vast as the distance between the heavens and the earth, and between the east and the west. And above all, God knows whereof we are made. God remembers that we are but dust.

And thank God that he does remember we are but dust. That’s the sober reminder we hear this evening as ashes are imposed on our foreheads. We are dust, and to dust we shall return. But could we take a cue from the psalms and say the same thing in another way? The psalms, after all, frequently make a statement, and then repeat the same statement in different words to emphasize a point. So, could we say the same thing about who we are but in a different way? Could we say it from God’s perspective? How about this? Remember that you are loved, and to Love you shall return.

Yes, that’s really what we need to hear. To say that we are loved brings us back to the beginning of creation, on that sixth day when God was still not satisfied after creating night and day, earth and sky, plants, and animals. God created humankind because God desired to be in relationship with us. God created us, stepped back, and smiled, and said, it is very good. There it is. We are loved, created in that gorgeous image of God.

Of course, it didn’t take long for humans to go astray, as we still do, but not always in the ways we think. To say we are dust is to admit that we are frail, sinful creatures. It’s to say that our hubris will come crashing down like the Tower of Babel. It’s to say that our programs and well-laid plans can always be changed on a dime by God. But to say we are dust is also to say that we are loved. We are shaped and molded in God’s beautiful image.

And to say that we shall return to dust is to acknowledge that we will all die one day. Could this be the most stubborn obstacle to accepting that we are loved by God? Are we willing to embrace the reality of our own impending death, which oddly enough opens into the clearest disclosure of God’s love for us? Yes, our bodies will be reduced to dust. But also because of the hope we have in Christ, one day, that dust will be raised again and transformed into glorified bodies that will never die. We shall return to Love himself, the One who formed us from dust and breathed his Spirit into us.

Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return. Remember that you are loved, and to Love you shall return. Why would we resist saying the latter? I have a hunch about that, too. I suspect that to disparage too much talk of God’s love is an excuse to avoid accepting it because of the cost it requires.

We gain the satisfaction of power when we try to control who God is, when, in fact, we make God in our own image. Yes, we anthropomorphize God in many ways, but in the most dangerous way of all, God takes on our human mindset. God is the one who’s always angry and ready to smite the offender. God is the one who delights in consigning some to hell, because apparently they are not lovable enough to return to Love one day. God is the one who needs us to be offended for his sake when we think someone doesn’t have their theology right. God is the one who needs us to protect him by labeling others as heretics or demonizing all those we don’t think have it right. We usually want to make God much smaller than he is.[1] The temptation to reduce God to human dust is the proclivity of all of us who really can’t believe that God loves us and that we are worthy of God’s mercy, compassion, and forgiveness.

God is our judge. That’s true. But God is a merciful judge. God’s judgment is a gift that calls us to return to Love. Remember that you are loved, and to Love you shall return.

Today is not a day to become intoxicated with vengeance towards those we think deserve it. It’s not a day to bestow on God the jealousy, wrath, and anger that infect our own hearts. It’s not a day to be proud of our own orthodoxy. Today is the day to remember that God can take care of himself. God knows we are dust and that we shall return to dust one day. But this day of all days, God also desires that we recognize that, created from dust, we are loved, and although we shall return to dust one day, God will raise that dust up again. Because, in the end, we are more than dust. And if we can truly see ourselves through God’s eyes, one day we shall return to Love again.

Sermon by Father Kyle Babin
Ash Wednesday
February 22, 2023

[1] To quote the late Archbishop of Canterbury Michael Ramsey.

Seeing with the Eyes of Jesus

Greg sees everyone with the eyes of Christ. That’s what Greg’s mother told me. That was obvious to me. Greg was probably the happiest member of the church choir that I directed some years ago. I don’t think that Greg could see negative qualities in anyone or anything. Frankly, he put the rest of us to shame. The smallest things would bring him unspeakable joy. An adventurous modulation in an improvisation between verses of a hymn would move him to ecstasy. Although he was well into his twenties, each year around St. Nicholas’s Day, he would march down from the choir loft with the children of the parish to greet St. Nicholas upon his arrival. He was beaming and not the least bit self-conscious. Greg was at home with children and adults alike. It was true. He saw everyone with the eyes of Jesus, including himself.

I would often observe Greg and then look at others in the parish. I wondered how he could feel such indiscriminate love towards people, when others, whom we might label as more fortunate by the standards of our world, could be so bitter and mean. With Greg, you only had to be yourself. There was no reason to pretend because no matter how you acted or who you were, he saw you as Christ would see you. He looked upon you with love. He held no grudges. He wasn’t resentful. How could you be resentful or mean if you always saw others with the eyes of Jesus?

Try it. Can you picture the person you find most despicable? Can you gaze upon the image of the person who has broken your heart or wounded you? Can you hold before your eyes the face of the one towards whom you hold deep resentment? And can you see all those persons with the eyes of Jesus? It’s an interesting and challenging exercise. I tried it earlier this week. In a dreamy state, as I lay in bed in the early morning hours, I allowed the faces of those who have hurt and offended me to roll across my mental screen. I tried to see through them, through the tarnished façade, to the original goodness[1] within. I saw them through their best qualities, even if those qualities were difficult to summon at times. I imagined that, for a moment, my perception changed. If you try it, maybe for a moment your heart will soften.

But with time, that sense of peace probably fades away, too. There are some wounds too deep to be cured by our imaginations. There are some resentments that offer us such a delectable taste of power in clinging to them that it’s painful to let them go. There are plenty of people who make it easy for us to dislike or even hate them. Which is why we need a Savior, someone who can help us to see the world through his eyes.

The story of Jesus’s transfiguration is all about vision, but vision on two levels. It requires that we hold two things in tandem. On the one hand, we need to accept that something miraculous and mysterious, beyond our understanding, happened on that holy mountain. The actual transfiguration of Jesus is more than a mere metaphor. It is something that happened to Jesus, and above all, it affirms who Jesus is, the Son of God, fully human and yet fully divine, the Savior of the world, not simply another guru, teacher, or moral exemplar. Jesus is God’s beloved Son.

But there is a purpose to this theophany on the mountain. It’s more than a theological statement. Jesus was transfigured to teach us something. He was transfigured to change us, too, in some way, not in mere appearance but in form, in body and soul. Soon enough, the mountaintop experience of bliss would fade away, Moses and Elijah would disappear, God’s voice would no longer be heard, and the disciples would be left alone with nothing but Jesus, and no less than a Jesus who will be tortured on a cross leaving them bereft, confused, and fearful.

The bewildering episode on the mountain only makes sense if we recall what’s on the other side of the mountain. Down the mountainside there is a deep valley. It’s the valley of suffering and death that will soon be Jesus’s fate. It’s the valley of the disciples’ fear as they betray their friend as he faces the cross. It’s the valley of some of those disciples’ own deaths long after Jesus died, deaths that were the result of following him. It’s the valley of countless martyrs who submitted to a gory end rather than abandon their faith. It’s the valley of our own lives, the broken marriages, the estrangement from family members, the lost jobs, the cancer, the trauma from something in our past that imprisons us.

The transfiguration is about two things. It’s about who Jesus is and who Jesus is calling us to be. And who Jesus is calling us to be is a people who see everything as he would see it. And to do this, we need a Savior. We need Jesus to touch us, heal us, and help us see as he sees. We need Christ to give us his vision.

On the mountaintop, strangely and before death occurs, the resurrection is breaking through. It is illuminating all that will soon litter the road of suffering. It will mark every old and broken thing as something that will be made new again. It will designate every moment of sin as fodder for forgiveness. It will offer the key to unlock every prison door, whether physical or in our hearts.

To live in the aftermath of the transfiguration, requires the healing touch of the Transfigured One. When our newfound zeal is overflowing our cups, we need Jesus to touch us as he touched those disciples and wake us from our dreamy state. We can’t live in a perpetual state of bliss. To see with the eyes of Jesus means also seeing the treacherous road ahead as one paved with glory. We need God’s voice to interrupt our babbling, as God interrupted Peter’s attempts to domesticate the mountaintop vision. When we presume to know the state of another’s soul or the moral worth of another person, we need the Risen Christ to interrupt us with his words and help us to see everyone with his unclouded eyes.

The theological point of Jesus’s transfiguration is that the entire world, every person and thing, can be seen in the glow of the hope of glory. With the eyes of Jesus, we have X-ray vision to see what’s possible beyond marred and broken surfaces. But it’s only possible with the Savior’s touch. It’s only possible when we allow God’s voice to interrupt our cynicism and selfishness.

In transfigured glory, there is no room for cynics. Seeing with the eyes of Jesus means seeing every drought as potential for rain. Seeing with the eyes of Jesus means seeing every disappointment and failure as a reminder that God needs to startle our selfish boasting with his voice that calls us to our true vocation. Seeing with the eyes of Jesus means seeing every single situation, no matter how dire, as capable of bearing fruit. Seeing with the eyes of Jesus means envisioning the vilest sinner as worthy of God’s forgiveness. Seeing with the eyes of Jesus means seeing our own possessions and money as belonging not to us but to God. Seeing with the eyes of Jesus means seeing even death as a gateway into glory.

And above all, as a modern Church where martyrs are few and far between, seeing with the eyes of Jesus means that we must be capable of seeing through the malaise that often masquerades as Christianity. Seeing with the eyes of Jesus means that things are not really as they seem.

I don’t know about you, but I want Greg’s eyes. But more than that, I want to see everyone and everything with the eyes of Jesus. I want to look my deepest fears in the face and see through them to the peace on the other side. I want to look at swords and see them turned into ploughshares. I want to see the wolf lie down with the lamb. I want to see wounds bound up with the salve of Christ’s healing grace. I want to see these scarcely populated pews filled to the brim. I want to see society’s anxiety turned into joy. I want to see sickness as a way of knowing Christ more deeply. I want to see my own death as the entrance into a life far wonderful beyond my imagining.

To see a world capable of transfiguration, we need a Savior. We need more than a teacher or guru. We need the One who was transfigured so that we might be able to see a world radiating with the glory of God. We need the Transfigured One to touch us on the shoulder and help us see that everything that looks old and worn will one day be made new again.

Sermon by Father Kyle Babin
The Last Sunday after the Epiphany
February 19, 2023

[1] This is how the priest and theologian John Macquarrie rephrases original sin.

Two Pieces of the Truth

Someone in my chaplaincy cohort was on to me. And I’ll admit that I found it frustrating. In our group sessions, she would suggest that I was holding something back. I want to see the real Kyle, she would say. But I didn’t feel like I was being anything other than the real Kyle. What was expected of me?

I didn’t like this. I certainly wasn’t trying to be dishonest; I simply felt that there were certain things I should share, and there were other things that were best left unspoken. I was annoyed by the repeated suggestions that I was withholding something that should be shared with the group. And of course, that annoyance remained unvoiced.

We were in the middle of Clinical Pastoral Education, a chaplaincy experience usually undertaken after one’s first year of seminary. The setting of this chaplaincy was a busy inner city hospital. It wasn’t an easy place. Because it was a Level One trauma center in a major city with a fair amount of crime, we saw gunshot victims and every severe injury or illness that other hospitals couldn’t take.

I suppose I was trying to tough it out. Some of my colleagues expressed all manner of emotions in our group conversations. There were tears. There was anger. But I prided myself on having it all together. No matter how much troubled or bothered me, no matter what irritated me, I was self-composed.

I had all manner of excuses for maintaining my composure and for bottling up some of my emotions. I had had real life ministry experience in parishes before serving in that hospital. You can’t lose your cool in front of others in a church setting, I thought. You must hold it together and know when to speak up and when to remain silent. I assumed that my colleague didn’t understand that because she hadn’t had such experience.

But in hindsight, my colleague understood something that I didn’t, and I couldn’t quite see this at the time. And yes, I knew something about the emotional filtering that’s necessary for a leader, which I’m not sure my colleague fully grasped. Each of us had a piece of the truth.

We don’t get easy words from Jesus in today’s Gospel reading. To be honest, it would have been far easier to ignore this reading altogether and preach on one of the others. But that doesn’t seem right to me. When Jesus says things that make us squirm, it’s our bounden duty to tackle them and spend time with them until we can make some peace with them. And the way to make peace with Jesus’s difficult words is often to hold two extremes together. Both extremes carry some truth, and to find the entire truth, we need both pieces.

The most obvious piece is what’s most visible. In Jesus’s Sermon on the Mount, he refers to the tradition of the law, a good and venerable tradition that he’s carrying forward into his life. He gives obvious examples. You’ve heard it said that you shouldn’t murder. You’ve heard it said that you shouldn’t commit adultery. You’ve heard it said that you shouldn’t swear falsely. All these laws are common knowledge.

But then there’s the other invisible piece, lurking in the depths of the heart. Here’s where Jesus makes us uneasy. I say to you that anger can lead to murder. I say to you that even looking lustfully at another is akin to adultery. I say to you that offering gifts at the altar is shallow ritual unless you seek reconciliation with your enemies. I say to you that divorce should not be an easy exit strategy to avoid embracing the difficulties of marriage. I say to you that you should forego oaths and, instead, speak plainly and honestly.

These are the two pieces of the moral picture handed to us by Jesus, and we need both to arrive at the truth. If we only have one piece, we assume that our visible actions are enough. If we refrain from murder, adultery, or swearing falsely, then we’re doing just fine. On the other hand, if we’re incapacitated by guilt because of the disturbing emotions that seep unsolicited into our hearts, then we will be of no moral use. Visible actions and the invisibility of the heart are both needed.

Part of knowing the depths of one’s heart is also the wisdom to know what should be said and what should be left unsaid. It’s knowing when the nasty email should not be sent in haste. It’s knowing when a mean glance or a rude word should be avoided.

According to Jesus, it all starts with the heart. And here, he has provided fodder for a piece of ancient wisdom from the early Church, which holds that the inner world inside each of us is merely a microcosm of the larger world. Perhaps this is what my colleague in Clinical Pastoral Education instinctively knew. If each of us is honest, we’ll see within us things that terrify us. We’ll find murderous impulses lurking in the hatred that festers within. We’ll find urges to steal because we so covet what someone else has, whether a gift, talent, or material object. We’ll find a deep-seated fear of not having enough that might lead us to do anything to feel like we do have enough. If we look deep within, we’re probably horrified. Heinous crimes are not the sole provision of criminals behind bars; they reside in our hearts, too.

We’ve heard it said, give voice to your anger so that the truth can be named. But Jesus says to us, tell the truth and name your hurt, but then let it go. Otherwise, it’ll eat you alive. We’ve also heard it said that ignoring our erotic urges is mere prudishness. But Jesus says to us that none of our urges is hidden from God and that God can take those feelings and transform them into desire for him. We have heard it said that sometimes divorce is the lesser of two evils, but Jesus says to us that perhaps we in the Church often fail to uphold and support all who live within the covenant of marriage, especially when things get tough.

It’s only by tackling all the frightening things inside our hearts that we can begin to live as Jesus calls us to live. And to do this, we need both pieces of the truth. First, we must look deep within, where the demons hide, and call them out. We recognize our tendency to claim power by holding onto anger and resentment. We acknowledge our inherent cowardliness when we’re passive aggressive or utter unkind remarks rather than approaching someone and asking to be reconciled.

But then there’s the hard reality that frequently when we look within our hearts at the monsters lurking there, we can’t simply make them disappear, which is why the visible things we do matter. In full awareness of our aimless interior posture, we behave as if we’re better than our hearts seem to be, not to be dishonest but to train ourselves to live towards God’s glory and not towards sin.

It's a deep tragedy that people who feel unworthy of God’s love or who are angry at God stay away from church. Why should we presume that God wants nothing to do with our anger, lust, or rage? Why should we assume that we can decide whether or not we can approach God’s altar for grace and forgiveness? Isn’t the first step to go there in the first place because we want God to change us?

And this is precisely why our presence to one another, in person, in the flesh, is so crucial. When we come into this holy place, we bring everything—our selves, our souls and bodies. We can’t keep anything from God. It’s all here. All our anger at the person we see in another pew, all our jealousy of the person who has more money or a better job, all our envy of someone else’s childlike faith. It’s all here. And this is exactly where God wants it to be.

When we come here each Sunday, we bring it all. God asks that we hold nothing back, because all of it—not part of it or some of it, but all of it—is to be placed on the Altar. God reaches inside our hearts, touches our rage, and heals it. God reaches in and puts salve on the wounds where we’ve been broken by the Church, society, or one another. God takes our emotional urges and redirects them to love of him, so that we can in turn share that love with all. God doesn’t want only some of it. God doesn’t want us to filter certain things out and control access to those most favorable parts. God wants all of it. God wants all of you.

And when we let God in, the most miraculous thing happens. We find that we are free. We are no longer chained to our inner demons. We no longer hide the little world inside our hearts. We open it up and offer it to God.

You have heard it said that church is the place to be prim, proper, and polite. But Jesus tells us that God wants all of us, no secrets and no doors on our hearts. Because God wants to take it all into his loving arms, transform it, and give it back to us so that we can be whole again.

Sermon by Father Kyle Babin
The Sixth Sunday after the Epiphany
February 12, 2023

Where No Secrets Are Hidden

On Thursday, after the Candlemas Mass, a few of us were cleaning up following the potluck dinner, and someone commented that it’s difficult to see the church building at night. That’s true. Despite its size, you could easily drive past this church at night without even knowing it’s here. There’s virtually no light on the outside of the building.

So, those of us doing the dishes after the potluck supper imagined how helpful it would be to install lighting that would illuminate the façade of the church. Someone pulled up pictures on a smartphone of beautifully lighted church buildings. We gawked at them and wondered how that might even be possible here at Good Shepherd. How many more people might be drawn to stop in for prayer or even a weekday evening feast day Mass if they saw the church ablaze with light, both inside and outside? After all, if no one knows we’re here, how can we be a light to the world?

But lighting the exterior of the church is only one step towards Christian evangelism. Let’s face it. There are many churches that are well illuminated and have engaging signs but no people in the pews. There are plenty of churches that have the wherewithal to invest in extensive social media campaigns in the hopes that they will reach people with the Gospel. But does it always translate into Christian discipleship? I don’t disagree with these evangelistic methods. In some cases, I think that we at Good Shepherd would benefit from a more robust engagement with the world outside the stone walls of this church, whether illuminated or not.

And yet the fact remains that despite social media engagements, illuminations of stone facades, and neighborhood canvassing, the Church is too often not seen as a light to the world. Some would say that it has lost its salt. No matter how grand our buildings are and no matter how central our locations may be, more and more people seem not to be interested in who the Church is and in what she’s doing. The Church may be a city set on a hill, but there’s no light on the exterior. People act as if we’re not here.

As a parish priest who is passionate about the Gospel, I wonder a lot about why this is. And as I pondered the familiar words of St. Matthew from today’s Gospel, I realized that perhaps the answer to this predicament lies deep within the walls of our buildings. The answer is found even beyond the evangelistic actions of the faithful in the pews. The answer lies hidden within our hearts.

We are given a clue towards this answer in the words the celebrant prays at every Mass. They are frightening words if we’re really listening. Almighty God, unto whom all hearts are open, all desires known, and from whom no secrets are hid. . . Here in this place, we are laid bare before God. Here in this place, as the Church gathered for worship, there are no secrets. So, could it be that the Church is decreasingly seen as relevant to those outside her walls because we are not always good at telling the truth?

This might seem controversial. My experience has been that the most faithful in the Church can often be the quickest to take offense at any intimation that the Church is broken or, at times, dishonest. And perhaps this says it all. If we can’t even be truthful about our imperfection, how can we be salt to the earth? How can we be a light to the world if we keep certain corners in the shadows?

But the truth is that I do see in the wider Church, and across denominations, a fear of telling the truth. From within the Church, I see a tendency to excuse poor behavior by using confidentiality as a veil of secrecy. I see within my own self the proclivity towards trying to keep certain things from God in my prayer, as if I could ever succeed in doing so. I see a desire to sweep under the rug the haunted moments of the Church’s past rather than giving voice to them. I see people encouraged to lead double lives. There is no shortage of convincing excuses about why we shouldn’t tell the truth.

And all this flies in the face of what St. Matthew is urging us to do. In Matthew’s Gospel, Jesus tells us to be perfect as our heavenly Father is perfect. Matthew knew quite well that we could never be perfect in this life, so the irony here is that we are becoming perfect by acknowledging most honestly our imperfection.

Like it or not, the Church is a city set on a hill, illuminated for all to see. Those on the outside are not meant to look only at our beautiful stone walls or stained glass. Those outside the Church are meant to watch us tell the truth. The Church is commanded by Christ to tell the truth. We are commanded to be a place where there are no secrets.

The Church has within its sacramental power, the means to tell the truth. Ironically, the Sacrament of Reconciliation is what teaches us how to avoid keeping secrets. When we come before God in the presence of a priest to confess our sins, the seal of confidentiality of the confessional is morally absolute. It's the most confidential place on earth. And yet, it’s a wholly public act. Confidentiality does not mean secrecy. The Sacrament of Reconciliation is the truest place of trust because there the deepest, darkest secrets are unearthed and voiced into the loving embrace of the Church. In this place, there are no secrets. There is no judgment except by God. In confession, we learn best how to tell the truth.

We then move from the safest and most confidential place on earth into the world to be salt that seasons its monolithic, spineless conformity. We’re called to be light to a world that delights in turning the light off in certain seedy corners. The salt we bring to the earth in our honesty has an uncomfortable bite at times. In a time when most people are expecting only sugar from the Church, we are nevertheless asked to bring some spice, to keep ourselves and the world honest. Salty truth can sting when it hits the wounds of our world, too. But in this full authenticity, we let our light shine before all so that they may see our good works.

Our good works are not simply acts of charity or kindness, our responses to social injustice, and our faithfulness in showing up for worship. Our good works are the visible manifestations of truth-telling in our lives. Our good works are seen when we become a community where there are no secrets, but only shared trust, a place where we can tell the truth and still love one another.

This does not mean that we break confidence. It means that when we agree to have no secrets, we agree to be fully honest before God, we acknowledge our frailty, and we build a place where the Church is the most trusted place on earth. And above all, it means that others see in our actions the rigors of the Christian life into which we have been baptized.

Here in this parish, I see truth telling. We haven’t been shy about naming the unsavory parts of our history. We haven’t tried to sweep them under the rug. And at the same time, we have also acknowledged that our past does not define our future. Being honest about our past secrets has helped us find new ways to heal. Being honest about our past has allowed us to submit to the new creation that Christ is preparing out of the old. Being honest means that redemption is always a possibility.

I rejoice that this is not a place for secrets. I rejoice that what I see among you is trust, openness, and transparency. No one must lead a double life here. At the Altar rail, we find our deepest truth telling. We confess with mind, heart, and body that we’re broken and in need of healing. We confess that although we don’t always agree, we trust that God will help us live together in love. We open the deepest corners of our hearts as we receive Christ’s Body and Blood into our bloodstream. Here, there’s nowhere to hide. And that is not scary, but comforting, because God wants to take our secrets and redeem them.

One day, perhaps the exterior of this church building will be better illuminated, drawing more people’s eyes to this glorious place. I hope they will stop, drop in, and see with their own eyes the trust and love within its walls. It’s all so very good. But more than anything, what I hope they see is not kind conformity or complacent congeniality but truth-telling. What I hope they will find most inspiring about this place is that here, we have no secrets.

Sermon by Father Kyle Babin
The Fifth Sunday after the Epiphany
February 5, 2023

Prompt and Response

Back in the fall, I decided to hone up on the Spanish I learned in high school and college, and I started using the free online language program Duolingo. It was enjoyable and helpful for a few months, but I came to realize that something crucial was missing in how I was learning. I couldn’t effectively practice conversational skills. No matter how much vocabulary and grammar rules I practiced, it was no compensation for the lack of conversational practice.

So, this past week, I began the Pimsleur online language learning program. Dr. Paul Pimsleur, for whom the program is named, was a scholar of applied linguistics who developed a method of learning based on scientific research of how the brain most effectively absorbs a new language.

The method has several core principles, and two of them stand out. One is the principle of anticipation. Learners in the Pimsleur program don’t just repeat phrases verbatim. They are prompted in their native language to render an appropriate response in the foreign language. Learners must engage with the prompt and think about what comes next. The other notable principle is that of “organic learning,” which happens in contextual conversation and dialogue. The speaker and the listener must engage with one another. The tone of the speaker’s voice, the rhythm of speech, and pronunciation are essential. Of course, these principles, however, scientific they may be, simply reinforce what we all know. To become fluent in another language, you must immerse yourself in conversation.

And a conversation is exactly what we find in today’s words from the prophet Micah. If you ask me, the most striking thing about this excerpt from the Book of Micah is not that God has a bone to pick with his children. It’s not that God’s children have lost their way and are more focused on ritual than ethical behavior. It’s not that God is calling the people back to simple principles of acting justly, kindly, and humbly. The most striking feature of Micah’s words is that when God states his contention with the people, God doesn’t just lecture them. God doesn’t simply scold them or tell them what they have done wrong. God invites them into conversation. God asks them to engage.

Did you notice that? Did you notice the quotations marks in the passage? Did you catch the multiple voices in dialogue with one another? It’s rather easy to miss when reading the text or hearing it read by one reader. For this passage to come alive, we need multiple voices. We need to hear the verbal exchange between God and people.

This passage opens with the prophet announcing God’s words, and then we hear God’s words. We shift from the prophet’s voice to God’s voice. God lays out a case against the people, for they have forgotten how to live justly. There are wide chasms between rich and poor. But above all, the people have forgotten how to live as a grateful people.

God lays out his contention with them but notice how God does it. God doesn’t talk at the people. God talks with them. “O my people, what have I done to you? In what have I wearied you? Answer me!” God affectionately addresses the people as his own and then demands an answer. God wants the people to engage. God wants to be in relationship with the people, however apathetic and stubborn they may be.

Although God prompts the people with a question and then offers the answer himself, it’s as if God is longing for the people to supply the answer instead. God desires for the people to be as passionate with him as he is passionate with them. God yearns for the people to respond. Yes, God, we realize now what we’ve forgotten. Now, we remember by responding with what you’ve done for us. You brought us from slavery into freedom, from death into life. You sent us leaders like Moses, Aaron, and Miriam. You saved us from the curse of Balak. In all things, you’ve always looked out for us. You’ve never forsaken us.

But as we know, the people don’t respond in that way, because they don’t really know how to respond. God must provide the answer for the people. God must remind the people of what he’s done for them, because the people have forgotten how to be grateful, how to care, and how to engage. We, too, can so easily forget how to be in conversation with God.

And when the people finally do respond to God’s plea, they make a rather strange reply. Either the people are desperate to earn God’s favor, or they are speaking in hyperbole. Shall they bring young calves, or thousands of rams, or ten thousand rivers of oil, or sacrifice even their first-born children? The people have entirely missed the point. Don’t we miss the point?

The answer, it turns out, is rather simple but apparently hard to implement: do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly with God. God doesn’t demand our desperate offerings to be appeased. God is interested, first and foremost, in a relationship with us. When God speaks, God asks us to respond, not with things but with ourselves.  

It's as if God is teaching the people of ages past and also teaching us how to speak his language. It’s easy to think that we only need to add some fancy words to our vocabulary or to repeat our regular rituals until God is appeased. It’s easy to imagine that our conversation with God is either God talking at us and ordering us to do things, or our talking to God and asking him to do things for us.

But God’s language is far deeper. To learn God’s language, we must let God prompt us so that we can respond. When our actions have strayed far from the mind of Christ, it’s time to listen to God’s grievance with us, and then to remember how to be thankful.

God is quite deliberate in how he teaches us, even though he has been quite explicit in teaching us through his Son Jesus Christ. God also knows that for us to speak his language more fluently, we need to practice. We need God to invite us into conversation. We need for God to remind us repeatedly that he has never given up on us. When we have grieved his heart, he hasn’t canceled us or silenced us. Time and again, God has shown his unending compassion and mercy by asking us to speak with him. Every day of our lives, God is helping us to learn his language, because God knows that we can.

Could it be that the most chilling sin against God is that of apathy? Does anything break God’s heart more than our unwillingness to be in conversation with him? What is more appalling than for God to speak to us, hoping for an answer, and to hear nothing but indifferent silence? Isn’t it grievous to be offered God’s gifts, whether in Word or Sacrament, and to refuse them?  

The God before whom we come this day knows nothing of apathy. This is a God who cares enough about us to contend with us, to hash it out, however uncomfortable it may be. This is a God who never looks away, even when we offend him yet again. This a God who will not force goodness upon us but, instead, invites us into it by learning how to speak his language.

Today, something has brought you here. Perhaps it was a sense of obligation or duty. Perhaps you were stirred by a longing to praise God. Perhaps someone made you come. It matters not why. You are here, but now God asks something more of you. God asks for more than your presence in the pew. God asks for more than your money in the collection plate. God has laid out his case against us where we have fallen short of the demands of Christian discipleship. God has laid bare to us the ways in which we have been apathetic and turned a blind eye to injustice. God is asking us to speak. Answer me! In what have I wearied you?

Now, here before God’s altar, make your answer, not with mere lip service but with your whole selves, souls, and bodies. It’s time to remember all that God has done for us, all the times he has forgiven our laziness and pride, all the times he has been with us in our sorrow, all the times he has brought us from death into life. Don’t be silent. Don’t ignore God’s summons. Respond to God’s prompt. Learn God’s language. Accept God’s gift, and then you will learn how to live.

Sermon by Father Kyle Babin
The Fourth Sunday after the Epiphany
January 29, 2023

Let Christ Step In

Well-behaved churches rarely make the news. And to be honest, I’m fine with that. Pick up a newspaper these days and if you see any reference to Church or religion, it’s often disturbing. There’s a brewing schism in one denomination threatening to tear churches apart. There’s an abuse scandal in another. Some priest or pastor has committed financial impropriety. A church leader has sued other church leaders. And another one has drawn a line in the sand on a controversial issue.

As I said, well-behaved churches rarely make the news, which is why the first-century Church in Corinth received a letter from St. Paul. Paul had a practical need to write to the Corinthians, and it’s not because they were behaving well. We don’t know everything that the Corinthians were up to, but they were up to no good. There was petty quarreling. Some of the Church folk decided to side with certain leaders, favoring individual charisma over unity. Some claimed Christ themselves for their own specific causes and purported to have a monopoly on truth. Many were perversely thrilled by fighting rather than by living together in love and peace. Does this sound only like the first-century Church or eerily like the Church today?

It's perhaps one of the most unfortunate ironies of history that St. Paul’s theology has been coopted to promote rancor and schism, when his theology is, at its core, a moving explication of sacrificial love and unity. It’s easy to dislike Paul because of how we sometimes interpret his more controversial words. But could it be that Paul gets under our skin because his theology cuts too close to the bone, whether you consider yourself a liberal or a conservative? Isn’t it easier to use Paul’s words as ammunition against targeted scapegoats rather than accept his challenging call to unity? Isn’t it easier to give up on Paul than to admit that we are being summoned to dialogue with those most different from us?

When we think of news headlines and making history, we might think of the unfavorable tones of Paul’s theology. If we move down to the subheadings or to those news clippings that never make it to the front page, we will find the real meaning of the apostle’s controversial message.

It's not surprising that well-behaved Church people rarely make the news. The media knows what gets people’s attention, and what gets people’s attention makes the most money. And this is why Paul is suggesting something so very foolish. He knows it’s foolish, too. “The word of the cross is folly to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.” The word of the cross may not make the news headlines, but it doesn’t need those headlines to work its power. Its power is in its understated simplicity, its denial of competitiveness, and in its focus on the Body of Christ rather than on the self.

To most ears, St. Paul’s understanding of Christian living is, at worst, nothing short of stupidity, and at best, nothing short of naivete. To lawmakers who pass the popcorn while their political rivals fight among themselves, it does seem foolish that we can agree to disagree. To autocratic leadership that demands monolithic conformity, it seems ridiculous that we would choose to be in relationship with one another even if we don’t think alike. In an increasingly polarized political climate, it seems absurd that we could have a common mind on anything when we vote differently, have a variety of opinions, and are so different. To some in other denominations, Anglicanism seems mealy-mouthed because it paves a via media of humility rather than of dogmatism. When life is merely survival of the fittest, it seems like a death sentence to put not self first but the whole. And if we’re convinced that we’re right, then it feels like a compromise of our values not to force others into thinking as we do. No wonder manipulating St. Paul’s theology gets you into the headlines. It’s much easier to use him to help you put others down and puff yourself up. Which is exactly the opposite of what his theology is about, if we’re not afraid to let his difficult message convict us.

Paul’s words—the words of the cross, we might say—leave no one untouched and unjudged. Preachers, point not to your brilliance or your eloquence, Paul says. Point to Christ, step aside, and let Christ step in. Churches, point not to your wealth, success, or power. Point to Christ, step aside, and let Christ step in. Church leaders, point not to your own authority or so-called monopoly on truth. Point to Christ, step aside, and let Christ step in. Moralizers, consider whether your judgmental speech is really about immorality or, rather, about your own ego. Point to Christ, step aside, and let Christ step in.

The risk is that, before too long, we are simply repeating the behavior of those we perceive as judged by Paul’s theology. We rejoice at the conviction of those who skew Paul’s words and render them towards anger and hate. But the invitation is to look at where the fingers of Christ’s true disciples are pointing. They are pointing not to division, schism, and fighting. They are pointing to those acts of love, mercy, and compassion that rarely make the headlines or history. The truest test of whether something is of the Gospel is whether it manifests reconciliation instead of division.

We can be sure that Christ is truly present when enemies are reconciled. We can be sure that Christ is truly present when two very different ideologies meet at the Communion rail. We can be sure that Christ is truly present when people who disagree nevertheless agree to sit together and talk. These actions rarely make the headlines, but they don’t need to because they are all pointing to Christ.

It’s a lovely gift of the lectionary that on the day we hold our annual parish meeting we are forced to reckon with Paul’s theology of the Body of Christ. In an age when the Church commandeers more bad headlines than good ones, we may wish to make our own headlines. Isn’t it sorely tempting to prove to the world that some of us are trying to do good? Don’t we want to defend the Church, whether Christianity, our denomination, or our parish church? And it might seem foolish not to.

But Christ’s call is simply to point to him, step aside, and let him step in. Our job is not to make the headlines. It’s enough to be in a subheading or no heading at all. It’s enough to be praying daily for the kingdom and for others. It’s enough to show up for Mass when others sleep in. It’s enough to pray in our rooms with the doors closed. It’s enough to be one of two people at a Low Mass or a weekday service of Morning or Evening Prayer. It’s enough to visit the sick and care for the poor without others knowing about it. The quiet witness of a faithful remnant[1] energized not around fighting but around common purpose has the potential to change the world. The ordinary life of prayer, and not newspaper articles, will bring souls to Christ. And submission and obedience to a rule of life and a way of being together in community–not individual stubbornness–will lead us towards the vision of God. It’s enough to point to Christ, step aside, and let Christ step in.

Dear people of Good Shepherd, as I say this to you, I say it perhaps most to myself. We can lament our past and throw stones at it, or we can ask God to present it to us as a gentle gift of memory, a quiet reminder that we are always at risk of letting our own viewpoints, our politics, our preferences, or our anger and emotions, supersede the place rightly accorded to Christ himself. Those who can most effectively decide whether we are living cross-shaped lives are those on the outside. We should pay attention to the ones who affirm that the quiet power of reconciliation, unity, and the fruit of the Spirit are manifest among us. And I believe they are.

We may never make the headlines again, and in some sense, I hope that we don’t. It’s enough that we are striving, in all our diversity and difference, to be of one mind and one heart. It’s enough that we are making our lives about Christ and not about ourselves. And above all, it’s enough that we point to Christ in our own authentic way, step aside, and let Christ himself step in.

Sermon by Father Kyle Babin
The Third Sunday after the Epiphany
January 22, 2023

[1] The use of the word “remnant” is inspired by Martin Thornton’s theology of the remnant in The Heart of the Parish (Cambridge, MA: Cowley, 1989).